Woman Backed For Disinviting Siblings to Wedding After Family DNA Fiasco

Imagine living your entire life only to find out that your beloved father is not biologically related to you at all.

That was the reality faced by one woman, 25, and her siblings. The woman told the backstory of the events that have led to her impending wedding in a Reddit post titled "AITA for disinviting my siblings from my wedding" in the "Am I The A**Hole" forum, where it has been "liked" over 17,000 times.

The poster, who goes by u/Own-Lime-7797, explained that her sister, 27, and brother, 28, were raised together "and until 2019 we believed we were a nuclear biological family." That was when the woman discovered that her two siblings shared the same biological father, and she had a different one, but none of them were fathered by the man who raised them that they all called "Dad."

To complicate matters further, the trio discovered that their fathers are brothers. That makes the poster and her siblings also first cousins.

Siblings Arguing
A woman said her father's DNA test has turned her and her siblings' lives upside down, leading to her not inviting her family members to her wedding. iStock/Getty Images

"Dad left our mom—hurt, betrayed, and overall disgusted that she had lied to him for two decades," she wrote. "I was equally mad that she lied and hurt my dad. My siblings were less willing to cut her off but their relationship strained majorly."

The poster said the earth-shocking revelation occurred because "Dad" wanted to find a family member and underwent a DNA test to help locate them, and "it spiraled from there."

When the pandemic began, she invited her father—who, although not biological, is treated like her real father—to live with her and her now-fiancé.

"At this point all three of us agreed he was dad no matter what," she said. "And there was nothing that could change that."

The problem was, she said, "I meant it; they didn't."

The poster's siblings went in the opposite direction, becoming closer to their biological father while considering the man who raised them as a stepfather.

The poster said that her brother has gone so far as to make his two daughters call the man who raised the trio "step-grandpa." Meanwhile, the brother's newly-discovered biological father is simply called "grandpa."

"It broke my dad's heart and he decided it was too much for him to accept," the poster wrote. "This is after talks between them where he was essentially told to know his place, stay in his lane and (be) demoted with the clear message being nothing would change.

"I am so pissed at them," she continued. "They have tried to push me to meet my 'real dad' and have told me it's okay to go back on what we said."

A Wedding Without Family

It has led her to disinvite them from her wedding entirely, she said, saying that their new relationship with their biological father in spite of the man who raised them has affected the siblings' relationship. The poster added that her brother's wife called her an "a**hole" for disallowing them from coming.

"They told me that just because they have a relationship with their 'real dad' doesn't change things between us," the poster said. "I told them it does, that if dad isn't our real dad after everything he has done for us then we're not 'real siblings' because technically we are half siblings and cousins. That my dad is still my dad 100 percent and biology is meaningless to me."

DNA Kits

NBC News reported earlier this year that paternity tests are continually changing, leading to lawsuits that have become more routine after the proliferation of DNA kits like 23andMe and Ancestry.com.

DNA can alter the lives of families and numerous people in an instant, as was the case with Mike Harvey—who earlier this year spoke of how an error at a medical facility led to his wife being inseminated by another man's sperm, especially shocking who he thought was his biological daughter. Another man discovered his 17-year-old twins aren't his.

Claims have surfaced online that the investment firm Blackstone now has access to the genetic information of Ancestry.com customers after it purchased the family history site for $4.7 billion.

A 2019 Pew Research Center survey found that about one in seven U.S. adults had used DNA mail-in services. The majority of individuals reported wanting to find out about their family origins. Other reasons included wanting knowledge on family medical history, as well as connecting with relatives they may not know exist.

Redditor Reactions

In the case of the Reddit poster, she was widely supported for taking a stand against her siblings.

It's fair that they want to contact their biological father and it's fair if they still want a relationship with their mother but to treat the man who raised them with such disrespect is nasty.
Reddit comment

"The man that is there for you and raised should not be demoted for something out of his control," one user commented. "It's fair that they want to contact their biological father and it's fair if they still want a relationship with their mother but to treat the man who raised them with such disrespect is nasty."

"Funny how the siblings are hurt that you don't see them as 'real' siblings anymore when that's exactly what they've done to the father that raised them," another said.

The poster's "father" has since divorced the mother, who the siblings still communicate with but the poster does not. She said she cut her mother out of her life permanently.

Newsweek reached out to the poster for comment.