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By Melissa Fleur Afshar
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The internet has backed a woman who kicked out her dad's new wife after she visited her and her newborn baby.
The woman, who had given birth just over six weeks ago, had taken to Reddit to share how her rules escalated into a full-blown argument with both her stepmother and father. Some Redditors have branded the post "ridiculous," after it was upvoted by 91 percent of the users who engaged with it since it was first shared online on August 3.
"My mom was with us for one week after the birth and then after she went home it was just me, my husband, and our newborn care specialist," the woman opened up online.
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"One week ago, my mom and stepdad came back to stay with us and visit the baby. I invited my dad to come and visit for the same period, but since he wanted to bring his wife Maggie along on the trip, they are now staying in a hotel that we are paying for.
"We had previously agreed that he would come to visit my apartment alone, and the rest of the time he would spend vacationing with his wife. This had all been working well, until yesterday when my dad brought his wife with him to the apartment," she added.
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The woman went on to share that her dad returned to her home, this time with Maggie, because Maggie wanted to meet the baby. She reiterated in her post that she was displeased by Maggie's sudden arrival because it went against the family's original plan and because she and the baby were not ready to receive guests.
The new mother added in the post that Maggie "feels uncomfortable" around her mom, and she "didn't want to deal with that level of awkward" so she told her dad that Maggie had no choice but to leave her home. The pair then bickered continuously until her husband had to step in and defuse the situation.
The woman recalled the aftermath of the heated exchange: "My dad ended up staying to visit because if he'd left with her, it would have made the situation worse, and she went back to the hotel."
"My dad has now said that I overreacted, and that Maggie was not planning to stay long so I could have just let her see the baby," the woman wrote.
"I think that given the agreement was not to bring her, any length of time was going against that."
"He says I embarrassed her by having that argument in front of my mom and stepdad, and I think he's the one who embarrassed her by bringing her at all," she said.
Expert Verdict: Try To Move On
Relationship coach Laura Doyle said that while having a new baby is incredibly stressful, the Redditor isn't helping matters by dwelling and mulling over the frosty conversation she had with her dad and Maggie.
"Realizing that her dad broke the agreement she had and brought his wife Maggie to her home without warning to meet the baby must have been distressing, disappointing and shocking," Doyle told Newsweek.
"She's right that it's entirely appropriate for her, as a new mom, to decide when she's ready to receive visitors. Then to have him say that SHE had embarrassed Maggie by overreacting only puts salt on the wound.
"But the part where the woman is still mulling over who was at fault tells me there's something unfinished between herself and her dad," she added.
Doyle went on to say that she feels the woman felt more comfortable and safer with her mom and her husband, who she's referred to as her stepdad in the post, than she does with her stepmom.
"I'm sure she has her reasons, but I wonder if her dad's poorly timed bid to force a visit from Maggie was also a heart message of sorts," Doyle explained.
She advised the woman to quit focusing on who may have embarrassed who and build on the success that she has had in her family relationships. Doyle's also hopeful that the woman will one day try to listen for a more tender message under the hurtful ones she received from her dad and stepmom.
"Acknowledging that she sees how this situation was embarrassing for him and Maggie and how important he is to her as her dad and her daughter's grandpa is not the same as taking the blame, but it could be just the olive branch that helps them both heal from the rift," Doyle summed up.
What Do the Comments Say?
Reddit users have remained torn over what to make of the complicated situation, and the heightened emotions around it.
"The woman could have gone with the classic 'Maggie was the reason my parents broke up, she was my dad's affair partner' and [Redditors] would have showered her with praise," one user wrote.
"This one is like 'technically [you are not in the wrong] for this situation but don't be surprised when your father distances himself from you because you're being a bit of an a****** to his wife for no real reason,'" another user added.
"Not the a******, you were clear with your rules and your father agreed," said a third, as another agreed: "You were paying for his hotel and laid out a very clear boundary that his wife couldn't come to see you...Good on you for shutting that nonsense down."
Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.
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