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By Lydia Patrick
Life & Trends Reporter
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Internet users have rallied behind a woman after she revealed her husband left her alone in the hospital following surgery—because he went hiking with his mother.
Reddit user u/PuzzleheadedTooth255 shared her story in the popular subreddit r/AmItheA*****?, where it quickly gained traction, earning over 26,000 upvotes. The original poster said that her mother-in-law had traveled from out of state to visit their new home, despite the poster saying that she would rather she didn't, as she had surgery scheduled and needed space and time to recover. The poster and her husband had compromised that his mother's visit would be to help out, not to be entertained.
On the day of her surgery, the poster's husband dropped her off at the hospital. When her stay extended overnight, she informed him she would likely be discharged the next day. He never visited.
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"On Friday I was discharged and called my husband to tell him that I'd be ready in about an hour. It went straight to voicemail and I figured he's probably in a meeting and I'll try again in a little bit," she wrote.
Despite repeated attempts, the poster couldn't reach her husband. She eventually had to call her sister, who left work and drove 90 minutes to pick her up.
"The house was in shambles. Laundry baskets on the dining room table, the litter box not cleaned since Wednesday morning, days of dirty plates in the sink, etc. I just broke down crying. She packed me a bag and took me to her apartment to recover for two weeks," the poster shared.
For context, she explained that her husband is originally from the West Coast, where his mother still lives. Since moving east for college, he has hosted his mother three to four times a year, often using up his paid time off (PTO) to keep her entertained. The poster had once asked how they were ever supposed to go on vacation together if his time off was always spent with his mother.
The couple agreed he would reserve PTO for shared experiences—like a trip to Europe in 2023—and that he would tell his mother he couldn't always take time off when she visited. However, the poster noted that, during previous visits, her mother-in-law would mope when left alone during the day and only perk up when her son returned home.
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Six months ago, the couple moved states to be closer to the poster's family. A new doctor recommended a surgery her previous physician had delayed—an uncomplicated procedure that would significantly improve her quality of life for years to come.
Despite this, the poster said her husband called her Friday night—after she had already been discharged—asking where she was. He told her he had been hiking with his mother and missed her calls because there was no cell service. This meant he had again used PTO during his mother's visit. The poster was stunned.
She told him she no longer felt comfortable recovering at home and would not return until it was thoroughly cleaned and his mother had left. Her husband, in turn, called her "the AH, [a******]," claiming his mother simply wanted to explore the new area and that the poster couldn't have left the hospital on her own anyway. She responded by yelling that he had "essentially abandoned" her when she needed him most, and that his mother's presence, which was supposed to ease the recovery, had instead made it worse.
"Maybe it's just the pain and pain meds, but am I in the wrong here? Is this a stupid hill to die on?" the poster asked fellow Reddit users. "There's a part of me telling me to see a divorce lawyer just to see what my options are because I'm not sure this will ever change … I want kids but I now don't see myself having any with my husband in the foreseeable future … I don't want to spend the next 5 years of wasting time and money on therapy and missing a chance to find someone I actually can start a family with, someone who can be a committed father and husband before he's a son."
She closed her post by thanking readers: "I think it's time to put my big girl pants on, unfortunately."
Expert Insight
Thomas Westenholz, a couple therapist at WAVO LTD, told Newsweek his opinion.
He said situations like this can cause a serious "attachment fracture"—a moment when someone needs care or reassurance, and their partner fails to show up.
"When the answer to the question, 'Can I count on you?' feels like 'maybe not,' we start to protect ourselves—by pulling away, getting defensive, or shutting down," Westenholz said. "Over time, if these moments are never repaired, they turn into patterns. Distance grows, trust weakens, and connection starts to erode."
However, he added that healing is possible: "The good news is that fractures can be healed. But they require honesty, softness, and repair. That means really seeing the hurt you may have caused or received, and allowing space for it—without defensiveness," Westenholz said.
Reddit Reacts
Fellow Reddit users were stunned by the husband's absence.
"Being unreachable while your wife is in the hospital is despicable, but he must have had missed calls and messages from her because she called him when they wanted to discharge her," one user wrote.
"It is despicable and unforgivable. Then the house on top of it. I don't think I could come back from that," added another.
A third user commented: "He's her next of kin. Who was going to make medical decisions if there had been an emergency or she required further surgery and couldn't consent? This man isn't worth the carbon he's made from."
Newsweek reached out to u/PuzzleheadedTooth255 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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