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By Maria Morava
Relationships Reporter
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A woman's candid recount of a disappointing first date has generated a heated debate online.
In a TikTok video, Estée, 27, shared her frustration because the man wanted the bill at the end of their date split. Since the video was posted, it has received over 342,000 likes and more than 25,000 comments.
Estée spoke to Newsweek about the response online and why the situation made her reflect on her standards and desires for dating.
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"I went on a date, and it was good," she began in the video. "Then the bill came. He asked for the bill, and, in French, he said, 'Two bills.' If someone says, 'I want to take you out,' then I want to be taken out, which means, to me, to pay."
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She said that after splitting the bill, she decided to be up front with her date about her expectations. He said he was willing to pay on a future date and asked her if she was free that week, but he later ignored her message thanking him for their time together.
Estée told Newsweek about her disappointment that led her to share the story in a TikTok clip.
"The date itself was all right, as we had a fair bit in common and were both fairly talkative," she said. "Honestly, I was quite surprised that he asked for two bills because he had been so adamant before the date about taking me out."
After reflecting on the encounter, she realized they were not a good match.
"For me, it is about respect and enthusiasm," she said. "I want to be with someone who is undoubtedly excited about me and expresses that through action and words. Initial behavior on a first date or the first few dates is very important to me, just as important as natural chemistry."
What Did the Comments Say?
The TikTok clip sparked an online discussion, with the opinions split fairly evenly on Estée's stance.
"Just a thought: If it was a real love connection, splitting the bill would be irrelevant," one person wrote.
"Being a gentleman has nothing to do with paying," another wrote.
"Don't waste your time with him," someone else said in disagreement. "Yes, you deserve to communicate your needs, however, paying for the bill is the bare minimum that a gentleman does without being asked."
'More Empowered'
While the reactions varied, Estée remains firm about her stance.
"I'd say the feedback was about 50/50 in support and against my perspective," she said. "More men and some women felt I was entitled, and that 'modern feminism' caused this entitlement or that 'equality' was to blame for men not paying, which is a laughable perspective in my opinion."
Interestingly, she said her post also attracted several men who asked her out.
Despite the mixed reactions, Estée has taken the experience in stride.
"I generally enjoy going on dates, and that hasn't stopped," she said. "After this experience, I feel more empowered to seek what I desire and deserve, and I am more confident in my perspective on the issue. There's someone for everyone, and the person(s) for me will be someone who wants to treat me as I want to be treated."
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