Fury as Woman Divorces Husband After He Loses Six-Figure Job: 'Gold Digger'

A post about a 35-year-old man who "ignored" his family when they warned that his now ex-wife was allegedly a "gold digger" has gone viral on Reddit as users debated what really happened in the marriage.

In a post shared on the r/TrueOffMyChest subReddit, user amanfilledwithregret said he met his ex-wife Annabelle when they were in college and he was "broke."

Their lives soon changed when the Redditor got offered his "dream job," which came with "six figures, company car, travel, the works." They enjoyed a lavish lifestyle for years until he was laid off and forced to take a job "making significantly less."

Two months after he started his new job, his wife, 34, said, "I don't think I can do this anymore," according to the poster. She moved out a few weeks later and asked for a divorce, claiming they had "grown apart."

Woman smiling, money flying from man's wallet.
A stock image of a woman with a sly smile, as a bills of money fly out from an open wallet held by a man. A post about a man who said he ignored the warnings from his family that his ex-wife was a "gold digger" has gone viral on Reddit. iStock / Getty Images Plus

Could the poster be right? Was his ex-wife just in the relationship for the money? While it could easy to make such a conclusion, psychotherapist Carrie Covell told Newsweek "We have no idea what else was going on here, especially because we only have one person's perspective."

Around half of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation, according to data compiled by the San Diego-based family law firm Wilkinson & Finkbeiner. The country has a divorce rate of 2.5 per 1,000 population, based on data reported by 45 states and Washington, D.C., per the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

The user in the latest Reddit post said his parents and sister had always told him "something was off" about Annabelle. Their misgivings increased when she dropped out of college and shared her plans to become a housewife and stay-at-home mom one day.

"Back then, there was no guarantee that I would have a high paying job but I also didn't mind her staying home with our future kids," the Redditor wrote.

"Because I began dating her prior to the money, I never imagined that she was with me for anything else," he said. "She loved me when I was a broke college student, we had planned our futures back then. How was it different."

But his family saw the "red flags," as Annabelle planned "an over the top, expensive wedding," and "wanted the biggest house she could find." The poster said his signing bonus was "drained rather quickly" and "the big spending got worse" after they had their two kids.

After taking his new job that paid less, the family had to scale back their spending, including taking their kids out of private school, foregoing "multiple lavish trips a year" and no longer making "frivolous" purchases. Two months later, Annabelle came to him and asked for a "break."

"Sure enough, a few weeks after she moved out, she told me she wanted a divorce," the Redditor wrote. "She claimed we had grown apart. Said I worked too many hours at my last job and I was never around."

He acknowledged that while it was true that he worked a lot, he was home for dinner every night and on the weekends. Though he traveled for work, Annabelle would come with him on the trips until their eldest child was in elementary school. He claimed that "she never complained about a damn thing" and "assured me she was happy."

When repeatedly asked whether her wanting a divorce was "about me losing money," the poster said his ex-wife "denied it up and down," claiming she "married me so young and needed to see what was out there."

But within two weeks of filing for divorce, the poster said his ex-wife was with someone new.

The poster said: "She tried to play it off as they just so happened to meet, but they moved fast. She was moving in with him within 3 months. They were engaged before our divorce was even final. This guy is a surgeon. He makes 6 figures a year.

"I don't know if the cheating began when I got laid off or before. I suppose it doesn't matter. We're divorced now...I regret not making Annabelle sign a prenup as she got half of everything," he said.

It's been three years since the divorce and his family has "never uttered 'I told you so' even though I deserve it," he noted.

"I went from loving Annabelle to despising her. I love my children very much, but I hate that I wasted 10 years on a woman who only wanted me for my money," the poster said.

We Don't Know 'What Else Was Going on Here'

"It sounds like there are a number of variables at play here, as well as a lot of things we don't know," Carrie Covell, a behavioral psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker offering services in California and New York told Newsweek.

The psychotherapist said "it's quite possible that this man's wife loved him, and that she enjoyed the financial resources he provided, and that the sudden decrease in funds operated as a stressor in the marriage, and that she engaged in some maladaptive behaviors (like cheating and/or immediately entering another relationship). All factors can exist at once."

Noting that we've only heard the Redditor's side of the story, Covell said we don't know "what else was going on here."

These unknowns include questions like: "What did this couple's communication patterns look like? How did they share parenting responsibilities? How was their sex life? How did his family's disapproval affect her?"

"Making judgments is like taking a shortcut—it's easier, but you miss the view. Understanding the full landscape of human behavior takes curiosity," Covell said. "And, while it's impossible to speculate on this couple's relationship without knowing more, it's evident that therapy would have been advisable," she said.

The latest post sparked debate among Reddit users. Several said the poster has not shared the full picture of the couple's relationship.

In a comment that got 3,900 upvotes, user Carmelioz said: "It honestly feels like your family brainwashed you. Why would a gold digger date someone who's broke and then stay together for 10 years and have 2 kids?...I feel like a lot of parts are missing..."

Another user, Competitive_Lime_852 agreed, writing: "I suspect your ex has a very different story. As someone said, there are three sides of the story. Your side, her side and the truth..."

"I'm curious how OP [original poster] envisions a 'fair' situation? SAHM [stay at home mom] for 10 years doesn't get anything in the divorce? This would prove to him she wasn't a gold digger?" Redditor Merunit commented.

User exxcathedra wrote: "Yeah, OP is totally downplaying the reality that she was a SAHM with small children for a decade. That is not a vacation and her support allowed him to progress in his career. The fact that he doesn't seem to value that contribution is very telling and may partially explain why the marriage didn't work..."

Some were more sympathetic toward the Redditor.

In a comment that got 3,700 upvotes, user Ruarc20 said: "Bojack Horseman [the character from the animated television series of the same name] had the perfect quote for this. 'When you're wearing rose tinted glasses, the red flags just look like flags.'"

SatoriNamast3 said: "I feel you man. When you're in it sometimes you can't see the forest from the trees. Love is blind. And sometimes it blindsides you."

Newsweek reached out to u/amanfilledwithregret for comment via the Reddit messaging system.

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