Woman Goes Viral With Information On How To Predict if a Partner Will Cheat

A marriage and family therapist intern went viral after claiming she can "predict" if someone will cheat on their partner.

Kate, or @restoringrelationships, posted the TikTok on April 10 and it received more than 900,000 views and 1,100 comments, many from users calling out their attachment types.

In psychology, there are three types of attachment: avoidant, ambivalent–sometimes called anxious, and secure. Attachment theory was developed by British psychologist John Bowlby and was expanded upon by psychologist Mary Ainsworth in her 1970s research.

Later, researchers added a fourth attachment type that describes people who identify with traits from both anxious and avoidant attachment types: disorganized-insecure.

"Healing for anxious attachments is expressing needs + getting support (which is v different than triangulating!) & for avoidants it's leaning into connection," the caption of the video read.

Therapy intern goes viral for relationship TikTok
A therapy intern went viral after saying she knows how to tell if someone is going to cheat on their partner. Commenters gave their own opinions on when it's likelier that a potential partner may be cheating. dragana991/iStock

In the TikTok, Kate prefaced that her comments were general and that people could "take what you like and leave the rest."

"To keep it simple we're gonna be talking about an avoidant and an anxious in relationships with each other," she said. "The biggest concept that a lot of y'all might have heard of is called triangulation."

In the video, she drew two dots–one representing anxious and the other avoidant–and drew a line connecting the two.

"In a relationship there is a bond here," she said about the line. "Now when this bond gets unstable or stress is put on the bond, this is when the avoidant and anxious stress responses come out."

She explained that a person with an avoidant attachment type avoids vulnerability and confronting issues in the relationship.

"So they bring in a third party," she said while drawing an additional dot. "I also like to think of avoidant attachment styles as externalizers."

She said that when there is an issue, these individuals tend to go to a third party rather than their partner.

"They get their emotional needs met by this third party. It could be work, it could be another person, it literally could be alcohol, external things," she said. "Cause to make this bond stable, ringing in a triangle is the most stable shape out of all of them."

Kate then drew two lines connecting the three dots together, forming a triangle of communication.

"The anxious on the other hand, they tend to internalize so when they're stressing the relationship they usually come towards and it's very much stress on the relationship," she said connecting the dots representing anxious and avoidant types together.

She explained that when individuals with anxious attachment do not get their needs met in the relationship they will internalize.

"So this comes out as eating disorder issues, or depression, anxiety," Kate said. "They internalize their emotional needs not getting met."

Kate then drew a dot down below the triangle and connected it to make an upside-down triangle. Drawing on the triangle, she emphasized that avoidants stabilize themselves in a relationship through external forces whereas the anxious cling to things internally.

"So this becomes an issue for kids especially when the anxious attachment doesn't get their needs met by their avoidant partner and so they get them met through the kids," she said. "That's how codependency happens and enmeshment in families."

She explained that in her opinion if your partner is going outside of the relationship to get needs met it is a warning sign that cheating could happen.

Kate's video received more than 1,100 comments, many from users discussing their attachment types and giving their own "predictions."

"Avoidant attachment will always potentially cheat in my opinion because I never think they fully attach to anyone," one user commented.

"The real reasons avoidants cheat: to reduce intimacy with current partner," another commented. "It's not to get needs met. They feel that no one can meet their needs. New relationship is low stakes, no vulnerability required."

"So it all comes down to communication," another added. "COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNERS! Compromise, pick your battles!"

"WOW, you literally just described my relationship," another commented. "My bf drinks all the time & wants to run away from problems but I wanna discuss and resolve them."

"Explained my marriage 100%. I'm avoidant and my husband is anxious," another wrote.

Newsweek reached out to Kate for comment.