Woman Inviting Friends on Romantic Getaway with Boyfriend Blasted: 'Ruined'
A woman who invited her friends along on an anniversary trip with her boyfriend is being slammed online.
In a post to Reddit's Am I the A******? (AITA) forum on February 7, user u/GradTattoo said he had booked a romantic vacation to celebrate their five-year anniversary.
"I planned the trip for several months (of course I shared my plans with her), and decided on skiing/snowboarding/other winter activities in CO," he wrote.
"The activities seemed perfect, and I was looking forward to this for months because I wanted to propose to her at the end of the trip."
However, five days before the trip, his girlfriend "Sarah" unexpectedly invited two of her friends to meet her there.
"I feel like it was plain and clear that this was a trip for just us," he continued.
"Even though I expressed my concerns, Sarah insisted that her friends already made plans to come and won't back out."
GradTattoo decided to make the best of the situation. He tried to move their plans around, so he could still propose to her privately.
"Sarah essentially blew me off for her friends and we didn't get any private time," he said.
"After three days of being in second place, I decided to leave the trip and head home."
Annoyed about his leaving, Sarah told her friends, who "ganged up on him."
"They said we were all having a great time," he said. "She thinks I'm being a jerk for making her pick between her friends and me (even though her friends weren't invited in the first place)."
The poster said he never had any issues with Sarah's friends before the trip. Since returning home, he's been reevaluating his proposal plans.
"Sarah and her friends think I'm overreacting and think I ruined the trip. I think Sarah was disrespectful and rude to me by ruining the purpose of this trip and having her friends gang up on me."
Reddit users unanimously supported GradTattoo. In the poll attached to the post, they voted him "NTA" (not the a******), with the story receiving almost 19,000 upvotes and over 3,500 comments.
What To Do if Your Partner Is Prioritizing Their Friends Over You
Fiona Eckersley, Divorce Recovery and Midlife Dating Expert, said it can be tough to balance friends and romance. However, prioritizing your partner as your relationship progresses is expected.
"While having your own friends outside of the relationship is very important, deciding who you feel is a priority as your relationship becomes more serious is a part of learning to be a couple," she told Newsweek.
"When you feel that you have reached a point where you are lovers, best friends and confidants, finding out that someone else seems to be more important to your partner than you are can really feel like a betrayal."
When one partner is unwilling to compromise or acknowledge their partner's concerns, it shows they do not care about their feelings—especially if they are allowing their friends to treat you poorly.
"When your partner does not intervene on your behalf with them, then this is a major red flag in your relationship," Eckersley said.
"You can try to point out to them how this makes you feel, but if the result is that you are told you are too sensitive, or that you did something to deserve their derision, then it might be time to move on."
'The Relationship is Over'
Reddit users advised GradTattoo to reconsider the romance, with Phenomstar asking: "Are you sure you still wanna propose?"
"Even if it wasn't a proposal trip, it was so disrespectful of Sarah to basically pull the rug out from under him and get her friends to gang up," said Heavy_Sand5228.
"To do that to someone you've dated for 5 years...geez."
Apart_Foundation1702 agreed, writing: "I just can't understand why she would think that it was appropriate to invite her friends to a romantic trip. What a selfish, inconsiderate, rude and ungrateful act!"
RavenLunatyk suggested that Sarah knew GradTattoo was going to propose, but planned to say no, using her friends as a distraction.
"She invited them on purpose to ruin it," she said.
"Oof that was my thought too," wrote K0933. "GF could tell OP was going to propose and invited her friends to be buffers/postpone the proposal."
"To me it sounds like she didn't want to be spending all this time alone with you," agreed ree1778.
"Total red flag that the relationship is over," wrote GG_1983.
While SageRiBardan commented: "She purposefully disrupts plans for a romantic anniversary trip by bringing friends along and then tells OP that they are being a spoilsport by leaving when GF and her friends are having a 'great time.'
"OP should see if that was a good reason for them to break up."
Newsweek reached out to u/GradTattoo for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
