Woman's Plan to Ban Mother-in-Law's Friend From Her Funeral Backed Online

The internet has thrown its support behind a woman who plans to prevent her mother-in-law's friend from attending her funeral.

Posting on the U.K.-based discussion website Mumsnet on Thursday, February 17, user HeyDuddy explained her dilemma about not wanting the friend of her mother-in-law to attend her funeral.

In the post, the user said her mother-in-law was in a hospice having suffered with kidney disease and advanced dementia.

The poster added that the mother-in-law had refused all medical care, but that the friend had made her life and that of her cancer-stricken husband "hell" as a result.

In the post, the user said: "She wrongly believes that I have stopped DMIL (dear mother-in-law) getting the care she needs, and will not believe it was DMIL's wishes.

"I actually have nothing to do with the decision making—all doctors and nurses involved in her care have seen the document and will not give anything that isn't absolutely necessary.

"For example, she has morphine for pain but they refused a surgery that she could have had as it wouldn't have significantly improved things. Her friend is being very vocal and telling everyone who will listen how we have stopped her getting the care she needs and we're just after her money, she also said all this at the DMIL's bedside at the hospice."

The post continued: "She tried calling social services and the GP but they didn't take anything further and realized it was malicious.

"DMIL only has a few days left as she now is having almost no water and I am terrified of the scene she will make at the funeral. Without me telling her I don't think she would find out the funeral details as she doesn't have any other mutual friends with DMIL."

The commenter added she planned not to give out the details about the funeral and that she hoes to "never see her again."

Messages of Support

Since being uploaded, the post attracted 169 messages with many people supporting the user's decision not to invite the friend.

One Mumsnet user said: "I think you would be absolutely correct not to tell her the details of the funeral. The last thing your family needs is a bampot screaming false allegations at such an event. And I'm sorry for your imminent bereavement."

Another commenter added: "I think if she persists, you have cause for a cease and desist letter from a solicitor. I am certain you MIL's GP could provide evidence if necessary."

A third person posted: "So sorry for your trouble. I would preempt her and say that you realize this is difficult for her but your MIL had specific wishes which you are following and are private.

"I would then say the funeral is private and leave it at that. No more engagement, visits or contact."

Funerals can often be intense and upsetting experiences for many people across the U.S. and abroad.

In the U.S. the average funeral costs between $7,000 and $12,000, according to life insurance company Lincoln Heritage.

The average cost of a funeral with cremation is $6,000 to $7,000, although there are many other potential additional costs.

Stock image of concerned woman
A file photo of a concerned woman. The user complained her mother-in-law's friend had made her life "hell." Getty