Woman Praised for Telling Dad, Siblings They're Not in Grandparents' Trust

A woman is being backed for telling her dad and siblings that they've been cut out of her grandfather's trust.

In the past 15 hours, Reddit user u/Mother_Vermicelli_31 has earned over 9,200 upvotes and over 500 comments for her post to the popular r/AmITheA**hole subreddit asking if she was wrong for spilling the beans that her grandparents cut the rest of her family out of the trust they set up to distributing their belongings after they passed.

The original poster, or OP, says that she comes from "a large narcissistic family with my dad as the leader," and is one of eight children, the rest of whom, she says, are just as bad. She left the family as a middle-schooler to live with her grandparents.

Her grandfather ran a construction business, and when it came time to retire, he passed it on to u/Mother_Vermicelli_31's father. The father nearly bankrupted the business—she says her father would embezzle money from the company—and her grandfather had to take the business back to keep it from failing. Her father's money-hungry nature didn't stop there, she says, as he would continue to take money from accounts he shared with them.

"I begged and pleaded for my grandfather to pursue charges. All he ever said was, 'No one will ever prosper from greed,'" u/Mother_Vermicelli_31 wrote.

When her grandparents un-retired to save the construction business, the OP quit her job and moved back in with them to help out. The company became a success again, and u/Mother_Vermicelli_31 now runs it with her sons. She also found herself as caregiver to her grandparents.

Her grandmother passed away first, but the rest of her family barely seemed to care, she says. Things only changed when her grandfather started to die.

"The moment word was delivered about my grandfather in the process of 'transitioning' that's when my father found his 'heart.' He was here every day and in the same this is when the disrespect started," she wrote. "I was subjected to listening to my parents and siblings discuss what of my grandparents would be sold and taken, who would get what, while my grandfather was laying right there in bed as they discussed this!"

Of course, what the rest of the family didn't realize is that her grandparents had removed them from their estate trust. This didn't stop them from making future plans, however. She said her father told her that he was taking the construction firm back over, and he "no longer needed [her] help." He also asked when she'd be moving out of her grandparents' house, since he had offers—adding that she had 30 days to move out.

"My mother stated they were being fair so there was no need for my attitude! I lost it! I screamed to the top of my lungs that my grandparents hadn't left them a dime so crawl back to the hole they'd crawled out of!" u/Mother_Vermicelli_31 wrote.

She told Newsweek she wasn't going to back down.

"My grandparents were exceptional people and I will not bend nor fold to my family's antics!" u/Mother_Vermicelli_31 said.

inheritance fight estate trust will family
A woman is being praised for telling her father and siblings they're not in their grandparents' estate trust, and will be getting nothing. ArLawKa AungTun/Getty

When a person dies, if they leave a will, if there's some controversy, it can be contested. Laws vary depending on the state, of course, but generally speaking, if someone is cut out of the will, they have the right to contest. The legal site WA-Wills.com lays out the typical reasons someone can sue for, mostly hinging on whether or not the will was signed by someone when they didn't have the mental capacity, or was forced to sign the will under duress or influence.

Though it's not necessarily a given that someone contesting the will will be successful, it can be very expensive, often reducing the estate by thousands of dollars as lawyers are hired to determine whether something fishy has happened. Some wills can contain a "no-contest" clause, which reduces or removes any inheritance to anyone who contests the will.

However, another way to go is to set up an estate trust like the OP's grandparents did. Though a trust can also be contested, according to a 2018 article by Robert Vaksman of the legal firm Vaksman Khalfin, it's impossible to break the trust after the creator dies. In addition, while a will needs to go through probate, Vaksman says a trust does not.

Redditors backed the OP, but were worried the family might still try to intervene.

"[Not the A**hole] but you should proactively hire a lawyer to handle estate matters and to put a stop to any harassment," u/Alternative_Year_340 suggested in the top-rated comment with over 14,700 upvotes.

"Also don't let them be in the house alone ever and place cameras because they will likely take anything worth value like grandmas jewelry, etc. I'd be very careful," u/Chance-Ad-9952 added.

However, u/Mother_Vermicelli_31 said in comments that she had indeed, changed the locks. She's also filed for protection orders and has three large guard dogs as well as a number of security cameras around the property. She says, however, that hasn't stopped her family members from trying to break in. In addition, her son's college friends and the family of her late husband will be protecting the house during the funeral, she says.

"[Not the A**hole]. At all. I see why you're upset & worried, but you didn't suddenly react without merit. They've made your grandfather's last days - and your last days of having him - absolute hell. They've made assumptions. They've decided they were going to evict you. I commend you that you held off as long as you did," u/GoAskAliceBunn wrote.

"Ha lol, of course you're [Not the A**hole] but it would have been funnier to do it once you had the proof," u/NihilismIsSparkles wrote.