Woman Praised for Telling Father-in-Law to 'Starve' During Celebratory Meal

A woman was praised online for telling her father-in-law that she doesn't care if he "starves" after he made misogynistic comments toward her at dinner.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/Upbeat_Fix_4061, posted about the incident in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 11,000 upvotes and 650 comments. The post can be found here.

Sexism in America

Nearly a quarter of adults said sexism is a "very big problem" and one in 10 respondents said they do not believe sexism is a problem at all in America, according to a Pew Research study conducted from April 5-11 of 2021.

Other data published by Pew Research found that an increased number of Americans are shifting away from the idea that women should be homemakers while men should be the family breadwinners.

Woman praised for calling out FIL
Commenters slammed a man for expecting his daughter-in-law to serve him dinner since she helped serve her father. JackF/iStock

An estimated 30 percent of women married or living with a male partner contribute at least half of the household income, up from 13 percent in 1980.

Still, about seven in 10 American adults believe it is "very important" for men to provide financial support to their families.


In the post titled "AITA for telling my FIL he can starve if he wants because I didn't care?" the 26-year-old woman said she and her husband recently hosted a family dinner to announce their pregnancy.

"It's important to add that my husband doesn't have a close relationship with his father," the post read. "But we keep him around because he still has 3 minor siblings that we love and care for."

The woman said her father-in-law believes it is the women's job to serve men since he is "the breadwinner."

"We usually don't care since we mostly ignore them, however, this time my family was present," the post read.

The OP said her mother died when she was young and that her father raised her and her sister, referring to him as her favorite person "in the world."

'Serve Me'

She said the first issue of the night was when her FIL attempted to seat himself at the head of the table, but her husband said no.

"The second problem and the cause of all of this is that everyone was kinda serving themselves," the post read. "However my dad has a damaged nerve on his right hand and he struggles when holding spoons/forks and such so I offered to serve him his plate while my sister served him his drink and then we all sat to eat and chat."

A few minutes later, the woman's FIL asked "is no one going to serve me my plate?" to which her husband gave him a confused look and said they did not do that in their house.

"My MIL just gets up in a hurry and takes his plate but my FIL says no and that 'the hostess did it for her father, so she can do it for me,'" the post read.

The OP responded that she served her father because his hand is injured and that he is fine, but her father-in-law said he wouldn't eat unless he was served.

"I just shrugged and said that he could starve and I didn't care," the post read. "He leaves with my MIL and while everyone agrees with me, my own father said that it was a disrespectful thing to say and I should apologize for the way I did it. So AITA??"

Redditor Reactions

More than 650 users commented on the post, many criticizing the woman's father-in-law for acting "entitled" at the dinner.

"NTA You didn't instigate the situation. He was being ridiculous and you declined to entertain his behaviour," one user commented.

"NTA. Your FIL on the other hand is an entitled AH," another commented.

"Not only are you NTA, you're a f**king legend. F**k that guy," another user wrote. "If he holds such tRaDiTiOnAl VaLuEs he'd respect the house rules of the house he was in. But he didn't, cause he doesn't. He's just sexist and entitled."

"I can see why your husband doesn't have a close relationship with his father," another commented. "What an entitled misogynistic ****. You're definitely NTA."

"Your father in law needs to know not everyone follows his sexist views. And in someone else's home he doesn't get to act that way," another wrote. "If his own wife wants to be his servant that's her choice. In your home you make the call. And his attitude is messed up."

Newsweek reached out to u/Upbeat_Fix_4061 for comment.

Other Viral Posts

Another viral post from Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum was when a woman was praised for walking out of a dinner with her future in-laws, and a mother was backed for refusing to help raise her daughter's child.

Recently, another grandparent was criticized for "bullying" his 16-year-old granddaughter.