Internet Backs Woman Refusing to Give Estranged Dad Her Kidney

A woman has received widespread support online after admitting she's refusing to give her estranged father a kidney.

The 23-year-old posted her situation to Reddit's popular am I The A**hole forum, under SurfingPonyta, as she sought advice over the delicate situation.

She revealed she was raised by her mother, and her husband, since she was four, after her biological dad walked out on her mom when she was a baby.

Speaking of her stepdad, she said: "He is my father in every way that matters and I wouldn't change him for anything."

But a few months ago her biological dad got in touch, seemingly out of the blue, and wanted to meet his daughter.

SurfingPonyta wrote: "I allowed it and slowly started to get to know him, mostly because it turns out I have younger half-siblings and I didn't want to cut them off plus despite it all I wanted to try and understand the "why" behind him walking out and try to move beyond it."

But she soon realized there was an ulterior motive behind him getting in touch, as she continued: "A couple of days ago though I realized the truth behind his reaching out, he revealed he needs a kidney transplant and none of my half-siblings are a match, he wants me to be tested."

She refused, adding: "I was honestly hurt by this as he clearly only reached out to me as a last resort and saw me as nothing more than a backup to try and get an organ. I've told him I wont get tested but he is trying to guilt me over his health and my younger half-siblings are begging me to get tested. AITA for saying no?"

Her post has amassed more than 10,000 upvotes and comments since being shared on Wednesday.

People fielded numerous questions, and SurfingPonyta shared more background to the situation, revealing her biological father's condition was caused by his "life choices."

She added he was an only child, which she theorized was "likely why he's getting desperate."

Thslljay advised: "Explain your situation and the transplant coordinator will tell your horrible family that you are not a match. You're not the first person in this position, sadly."

BringthePQplease wrote: "Or you could just, not get tested. Tell him he wasn't there for 20 years, so he can ask a kidney elsewhere."

BettyHumpder commented: "Better yet, tell him that he can ask you again in 20 years when he's made up for all the lost time from having walked out on your life. Oh wait."

While TheFamousHesham added: "OP don't feel obligated to play along with this.

"Just straight out tell your biological father, you owe him absolutely nothing and will not get tested and that you think it's gross he only contacted you after all these years, looking for a kidney. You reap what you sow."

Kidney donations either come from a living donor or a deceased one, which usually has a long wait list.

While strangers can donate, if they're a match, the NHs explained: "Ideally, living donations will come from a close relative because they are more likely to share the same tissue type and blood group as the recipient, which reduces the risk of the body rejecting the kidney."

The NHS stated while low, there are risks associated with donating and living with one kidney.

"Although rare, on-going fatigue and persistent pain have been reported by small numbers of the thousands of living donors," the website stated.

Blood pressure and risks associated with pregnancy are also potential side-effects.

Newsweek reached out to SurfingPonyta for comment.

File photo of kidney doctor.
File photo of a kidney and doctor notes. A woman has refused to give her estranged father a kidney, after he got in touch. peakSTOCK/Getty Images

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