Woman Who Told Husband to 'Get Over' His Mom's Death Has the Internet Split

A woman who told her husband to "get over" the death of his mother leaves the internet split over a new viral post.

Published to Reddit's popular "AmITheA**hole" forum, a woman under the username u/Thin-Increase-4140 shared her story for the community to decide if she was in the wrong. The post has 7,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

About a year ago, the Redditor explained that her husband's mother had passed away in an unexpected car accident. Her husband, "Andy," had a close relationship with his mother so it was tough dealing with the loss.

"He developed really bad depression. I tried my best to stay strong for him and offer comfort whenever he needed it, but it has been so hard being his emotional crutch. Andy stayed at home all day, quit his job and barely paid attention to me. I had to pay all the bills," she wrote.

She had the unfortunate realization that her marriage was "dying." She urged him to go see a therapist but he declined the offer.

"It broke my heart to see the man I love fall to pieces," she wrote.

Grieving the loss of a parent can be tough. According to Fatherly, some ways you can help your partner through the grieving process include being patient with your partner, being there for them in a time of need and finding therapy if the process gets worse.

Man and woman arguing
A Redditor took her story to Reddit's "AmITheA**hole forum to see if she was in the wrong for telling her husband to "get over" his mother's death. Boris Jovanovic/iStock / Getty Images Plus

After coming home from a bad day at work, she noticed that there was trash where her husband was sitting on the couch. When she asked for him to clean it up, he said no.

"Something just snapped in me, and I yelled 'I think it's time you get over your mom!' Andy looked at me like I was crazy, and said 'How could you say such a thing? My mother is not like some s**t ex, it's my mother' And she's dead.' I apologised, but told him to look at himself - no job, depressed, throwing away his life and relationship with his wife," she wrote.

"He said 'It's already so hard, don't make it harder. I don't need you scolding me at the hardest point of my life!' I tried to get my point across but he abruptly got mad - calling me a 'f**king b**ch' then left," she concluded.

She admitted that she didn't like what she said about his mother but feels "burnt out" and doesn't know what to do about her struggling relationship.

Redditors were quick to defend the woman in the comment section.

"[Not the A**hole] What you said was inappropriate based on how it was worded and that you were feeling exhausted and overly emotional. That said, this man has refused to engage in any activities to help him heal from his loss making every aspect of your relationship with him fall to you," u/Darwina received the top comment with 14,000 upvotes.

U/justacuriousposter said, "[Not the A**hole]. A leave from work to grieve is understandable. But quitting a job and not getting another one almost a year later, not making any effort to TRY to overcome her death, consistently not engaging in intimacy, is not fair to you. You're essentially carrying the burden of housekeeper, bread winner, and emotional care taker."

"[Everyone Sucks Here]. Poor choice of words, but i understand your frustration. Losing someone close to you sucks, but shutting down in a way that burdens everyone else isn't acceptable," u/verminiusrex stated.

"[Everyone Sucks Here]. You were harsh, but you're human. People snap. It sounds like you've been trying to help and support a person who isn't making an effort to help himself for nearly a year and you ran out of spoons at that moment. You still said it in an [a**hole] way, but I understand why it happened," u/Ok-Aardvark-6742 said.

Newsweek reached out to u/Thin-Increase-4140 for comment.