Woman's Comeback to Sister-in-Law Who Insulted Her 'Flat Chest' Applauded

A woman's "petty" response to her bullying future sister-in-law is being praised by Reddit users.

In a post shared to Reddit's Am I the A******? (AITA) forum on January 20, user u/Shesaidhesaid explained she had a "flat chest" due to a combination of growth issues and health problems.

She is proud of her body, but her fiancé's sister "Mel" constantly makes comments about her chest.

"My fiance and I went over to his parents house for his niece's birthday," Shesaidhesaid wrote.

"I wore a sweetheart shape dress and my SIL saw the dress and went like 'this dress needs boobs, you ain't got any.'"

Two women arguing on a sofa
A stock photo of two women arguing on a sofa, with one woman pointing her finger accusingly at the other. The poster stood up for herself after her soon-to-be sister-in-law continued to insult her flat chest. AntonioGuillem/iStock/Getty Images Plus

The poster ignored the remark, but at dinner Mel asked if she was planning on getting a boob job ahead of the wedding so she didn't "ruin the wedding dress."

Unsurprisingly, Shesaidhesaid was offended, but held her tongue until later in the evening.

"We were sitting in the living room later, Mel suddenly started wiping her nose and trying to clear it (it's stuffed due to cold apparently)," she wrote.

"She has a large nose so I smiled and asked 'do you need help with that? I could get the plunger for you.'

"She was stunned and the room got awkward after her husband was laughing."

Her soon-to-be sister-in-law was "fuming" and the couple was asked to leave. Mel told her brother that her words had humiliated her and ruined her daughter's birthday.

"My fiance said I shouldn't have caused a scene," she continued.

"I explained how her comments made me feel but he said she said it was out of concern but my comment was out of hate.

"Now she's expecting an apology. Did I go too far here?"

How to Stand Up to Bullying In-Laws

"When you marry someone, you marry their family," or so the old saying goes. That's great if you get along with your in-laws, but if you don't, you could be signing up for a lifetime of misery.

Chase Cassine—a behavioral health specialist at DePaul Community Health Centers—said that sometimes, our in-laws can be our "biggest enemy."

Man calming argument between wife and mother
A stock photo of a man trying to calm an argument between his wife and mother. The fiancé's family asked the poster to leave after the incident. Motortion/iStock/Getty Images Plus

"Frequently, family bullying is displayed in the form of indirect aggression, but it can escalate into physical violence," he told Newsweek.

"Covert methods such as constant criticism, humiliation, manipulation, gaslighting, contempt and other passive aggressive tactics are used to invalidate and isolate the intended target."

However, you don't have to put up with the abuse. You may feel small, but there are techniques you can use to get your power back—even if this means cutting ties or ending things with a partner who won't support you.

"Examine the health of the relationship and how you often walk away feeling drained, ridiculed and belittled," suggests Cassine.

"Be honest about how name calling, insensitivity and how other toxic behaviors impact you."

Your in-laws might try to shift the blame onto you—for example, by calling you "crazy" or "over-sensitive"—but Cassine says don't let this distract or deter you.

Explain how you'd like things to be moving forward, and if they don't accept your wishes or at least try to compromise, it might be time to say goodbye.

'Good on You For Getting Her Back'

Reddit users fully supported shesaidhesaid, with the post receiving almost 16,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments.

"So everyone ignores Mel constantly insulting you about your chest, but the moment you dish out that same energy, the entire world is on fire?" asked DJ_Too_Supreme.

"Good on you for getting her back because it's horrible for someone to comment on someone else's body," said susanbarron33.

"She deserved every bit that came to her," agreed Teresa_Chavez.

"She can have an apology once she apologizes to you first," wrote leo-m-s.

Woman looking sideways at her husband
A stock photo of a woman looking sideways at her husband, with a concerned expression on her face. Redditors warned the poster that her fiancé is unlikely to stand by her in the future. fizkes/iStock/Getty Images Plus

"You were petty, but it's a good way for everyone to show their colors. At least HER husband laughed," commented RahKiel.

However, posters were just as disturbed by her fiancé's response to his sister's insults, and his claim that Mel's comments came from a place of "concern."

"Do not marry a man who lets his sister treat you like this," said The__Riker__Maneuver.

"He's given you the sneak peek of a lifetime. You can see this red flag or spend your marriage being the butt of the jokes," warned vomitthewords.

"OP has now gotten a preview of how much her fiancé is willing to stick up for her. He needs to correct that immediately if they're to stay together," wrote Heavy_Sand5228.

While throwaway5093903590 commented: "The fiancé is gross. I feel like he said that because he actually wants her to get a boob job. That whole family is shallow as hell."

Newsweek reached out to u/Shesaidhesaid for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.