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By Melissa Fleur Afshar
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A 28-year-old's candid take on why so many high-achieving women remain single has gone viral on Instagram, drawing support from hundreds of thousands of viewers—including Grammy-winning artist SZA—and sparking broader conversations about modern dating.
Chand Bhangal (@chandbhangal), a creative from Ontario, Canada, shared her thoughts on August 6 in a video that has since received more than 640,000 likes. In it, she suggested that a generational imbalance in upbringing—especially within immigrant households—has left women overprepared for adulthood and men underprepared for relationships.
“We had to be made out of glass, we couldn’t afford to make mistakes,” Bhangal told viewers. “Failure was not in our vocabulary, we literally had to be perfect...So, now you have this large group of women that are almost over performing…While so much pressure was put on women, nothing was put on men.”
Read More on Relationships
Bhangal’s comments struck a chord with many who have watched the dating landscape evolve in recent years. She told Newsweek her observations came from real conversations across cultures and communities.
“I wanted to shed some light on the dating challenges that first generation North American women are experiencing across communities, cultures and ages,” she said. “My intention was never to offend anyone...Unfortunately, a lot of women resonated with it—even SZA!”
The Relationship Recession
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 46.4 percent of U.S. adults—117.6 million people—were single as recently as 2023. A 2021 report from Wells Fargo Economics showed that 52 percent of women were unmarried or separated, a record high. The fastest growing segment? Women who have never married at all.
The shift is reflected in American households. In 2024, single-person homes hit a record 38.5 million—29 percent of all households, up from 19 percent in 1974. Pew Research Center reported that 42 percent of adults were unpartnered as of 2023, with women more likely to be single than men.
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“Sons were and still are coddled,” Bhangal said in her post. “They’re not independent, also have no sense of leadership, they’re consistently relying on a system for guidance and direction.
"Instead they’re looking for a partner to be a replacement for their mom.”
Bhangal, who identifies as a Punjabi-Canadian woman, said her views were shaped by personal experiences and a broader understanding of how women are raised to excel. She is also a textile artist, speaker, and cultural advocate whose work spans South Asian fashion, Phulkari embroidery, and social commentary.
“My social media journey began with the intention to build community while raising awareness about societal issues that affect the South Asian community,” she told Newsweek. “I create content with intention now and showcase South Asian fashion proudly while having no tolerance for cultural appropriation, educating people about societal taboos and its implications.”
The dating conversation, she said, is one part of a larger identity narrative. And increasingly, women are choosing solitude and self-fulfillment over unsatisfying relationships.
“Even though I encourage a lot of people to start their self-love journey and reassure that romantic love is not a necessity to have and live a good, full life,” Bhangal said, “self-love is not a replacement for romantic love."
“We are reaching a turning point in which women are content with being with themselves, but there are some who crave a romantic love and there’s nothing wrong with that,” she added. “I believe everybody deserves romantic love…I also believe nobody should settle or lower their standards in order to receive romantic love and we’re witnessing that in real time—that large groups of women are not settling.”
She continued: “We are not settling for the bare minimum. We are not settling for weaponized incompetence. We are not settling for something less than our equivalent worth, instead we will choose ourselves.”
While most viewers praised the message, others challenged its generalizations. Jason Lee, founder of the relationship app LoveTrack, told Newsweek that while he supports much of what Bhangal said, he feels her message needs nuance.
“I fully empathize that many young girls are held to high standards, but I think it’s beyond unfair to blindly assume based solely on personal experience that all young girls are pushed in the same way and that young men aren’t also held to high standards,” Lee said.
“That said, there is a lot here I can get behind,” he continued. “When you teach young women that perfection and independence are the standard, you aren’t setting them up for relationship success. When you coddle young men and don’t bring them up to be independent, you aren’t setting them up for success either. Relationships are about teamwork, and teaching full independence or full dependence is never a healthy recipe.”
Research supports the idea that many are struggling to form relationships. A 2023 study by Apostolou et al. found that nearly half of participants—48 percent—found it difficult to initiate a relationship. Pew data shows that in 2019, 38 percent of adults aged 25 to 54 were unpartnered, up from 29 percent in 1990.
The ripple effects are being felt in long-term trends, including a decline in birth rates. The U.S. fertility rate now stands at 1.7 births per woman, below the 2.1 needed to maintain population levels.
For Bhangal, the message is not about judgement or blame, but awareness—and empowerment.
“I have very honest conversations about dating within my own private circle and I had noticed a pattern and that’s the pattern I shared on a public platform,” she said.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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