Woman's Viral Tweet About Bad Date Inspires Others to Share Similar Stories

On Tuesday, one woman by the username Dojer Cat recounted for her Twitter followers a bad date she'd once had. The tweet quickly went viral and inspired hundreds of people to share their stories. Some even debated the age-old question: who should pay for the first date?

In her now-viral tweet, Dojer Cat asked her followers: "Did I ever tell y'all about the time this dude asked me what was my favorite restaurant, made reservations there, we got there, and then when the server asked if we wanted any appetizers he said 'oh, we're just getting drinks tonight' and gave her the menus???" The tweet has received more than 34,000 likes.

Did I ever tell y'all about the time this dude asked me what was my favorite restaurant, made reservations there, we got there, and then when the server asked if we wanted any appetizers he said "oh, we're just getting drinks tonight" and gave her the menus???

— Dojer Cat (@OgLakyn) June 29, 2021

In two follow-up tweets, she further explained that her date claimed to have eaten a "big lunch" before arriving, and suggested they could get an appetizer if she were hungry. Angry, she declined, and asked the server for her check, promptly ending the date.

She also shared that she rejected his offer of a ride home, re-entered the restaurant and ordered dinner at the bar. When she told the bartender what had happened, the bartender gave Dojer Cat a free drink.

As the tweet gained traction, others felt compelled to share similar stories.

One Twitter user shared that their date once made them pay for their own movie ticket at the dollar theater.

"I suggested a dollar theater date I loved ([because] it was intimate & interesting)," they said. "[T]hey had 50 cent Tuesdays. [W]e went on Tuesday. [We] get to the ticket booth & he goes ahead of me to pay, breaks $1 to get ONE ticket & steps to the side so I can pay."

According to their tweet, they exchanged an incredulous look with the person working the ticket window.

I suggested a dollar theater date I loved (bc it was intimate & interesting) they had 50 cent tuesdays. we went on Tuesday. get to the ticket booth & he goes ahead of me to pay, breaks $1 to get ONE ticket & steps to the side so I can pay. this was me and the worker pic.twitter.com/FRXis1huB9

— Qhere Khan (@diamondsnoir) June 29, 2021

Dojer Cat said she'd also been in a similar position once.

"A similar thing happened to me once, me and the guy were debating between two movies," she said. "We get to the front and he goes 'ONE for Contagion' and so I got to the front and got one ticket too, for the other movie."

One commenter shared a friend's story.

"One of my friends went on a date with a long distance boyfriend when she visited him a couple years ago," she said. "She had a strict budget. He decided to take her out to dinner, but she couldn't afford anything on the menu. This dude had the audacity to order and eat in front of her."

According to a follow-up tweet, her friend sat at the table "for a full 45 minutes," drank water and watched her boyfriend eat.

One of my friends went on a date with a long distance boyfriend when she visited him a couple years ago. She had a strict budget. He decided to take her out to dinner, but she couldn't afford anything on the menu. This dude had the audacity to order and eat in front of her.

— shadé (@shadypalmytree) June 30, 2021

Men not wanting to pay the bill seemed to be the common thread among many of the stories. Women shared they'd had experiences in which the man would run to the bathroom to avoid paying the check. Some shared that the man wouldn't retrieve his card, even after the waiter asked to take the check, forcing the woman to pay, typically without protest.

"Had a guy ask me on a date," one woman tweeted. "He broke out into a major panic attack once he spotted the waitress coming with the bill. Knocking tables over, glass hitting the floor somehow he wrapped himself up in the table cloth like a burrito. I politely paid my portion and walked out."

Had a guy ask me on a date. He broke out into a major panic attack once he spotted the waitress coming with the bill. Knocking tables over, glass hitting the floor somehow he wrapped himself up in the table cloth like a burrito. I politely paid my portion and walked out.

— Sa’shae 💫 (@simplysashae) June 30, 2021

Another user named Val shared that, after paying the bill, her date said, "I guess I can be a gentleman and pick up the tip." This upset both Val and the bartender.

Chile, this is like the time a guy took me to one of my favorite spots. Date was going well until the bill came and he asked to go dutch and then said “I guess I can be a gentleman and pick up the tip.” I was ready to fight and the bartender was ready too😂😂

— Val 💫✨ (@ThatBKGurl) June 30, 2021

Throughout the thread, users attempted to answer the critical question they believed to be the source of all the dating drama: who should pay on the first date?

Some believed each individual should cover their own portion of the bill.

"None of this would happen if everybody just paid for their own s*** on dates," someone said. "It ain't 1950 anymore. Gender roles on dates need to go."

Others believe the person who initiated the date, gender aside, should be the one to pay.

"If someone invites someone out for dinner it only makes sense for the person who did the inviting to pay," said Ruwayda. "It's not about gender roles."

Harvard Business Review tackled this exact issue earlier this year. When discussing who should pay on a first date, the publication advised talking about the check upfront.

"If you would like to take care of the check, it's best to gauge how the other person feels about it first," the article reads. "For instance, you might say, 'How should we handle the bill?'...Likewise, if you want to split it, you can suggest, 'Do you mind if we split this down the middle?'"

Though not all bad dates are a result of who pays the bill, discussing payment early on can prevent potential frustration.

Bad first date
One woman's viral tweet about a bad first date inspired others to share similar stories. But the stories led users to ask one question: who should pay for the first date? Prostock-Studio/iStock