Adult Children Accusing Mom of Having an Affair Told to 'Get Over It'

A 21-year-old man defending his grandma for having an "affair" is being applauded online.

In a post to Reddit's Am I the A******? (AITA) forum on September 22, user u/Fancy-Winter2122 said his family is mad at his grandma for having a boyfriend—despite being separated from her husband for over two decades.

Since discovering their 65-year-old mother is moving in with her new partner, the poster's father, aunts and uncles have cut contact with her. Angry at his family for not supporting his grandma, the poster told them to "grow up and get over it," causing them to turn on him as well.

"Gray Divorces" Are on the Rise

Based on 2019 figures from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there is one divorce every 42 seconds in America. This translates to roughly 14,364 divorces a week or 746,971 a year, but as the CDC only collated data from 44 states, the actual figure could be higher.

Adult Children Accusing Mom of Affair Slammed
A stock photo of a depressed older woman resting her head in her arms. Although still legally married, the mom and her husband have been separated for over two decades. Victor_69/iStock/Getty Images Plus

The divorce rate for women over 65 increased dramatically between 1990 and 2017, rising from 1 in every 1,000 to 6. Known as "gray divorces," research suggests that a change in attitude towards divorce is responsible for the rise. Other possible causes include increased financial independence for women and longer life spans, with older people more willing to end unhappy marriages than stick it out "until death do us part."

'Happy at Any Age'

In his post, u/Fancy-Winter2122 said that his grandma raised her five children alone after kicking out her husband in the 1990s.

"Grandpa was a terrible father and a garbage husband," he wrote. "An alcoholic who spent all his money on liquor, never supported grandma while she worked her a** [off] to provide for her kids as a baker."

The grandma chose to remain single for a long time after the separation, and as the kids' father didn't pay child support, she was the only provider. However, the couple never officially divorced, as she "did not believe in it."

Two years ago, the grandma met William. For a long time, she did not introduce him to the family, as she was afraid of their response. The poster was the only person who knew about his grandma's new boyfriend, but after the couple decided to move in together in July, she had no option but to tell her children.

"Everyone was furious and started accusing her of cheating and that she was choosing her affair partner over her own kids," he said.

"She was even hesitant about moving in with William, but I encouraged her because he makes her happy and he is a nice man."

Since the news, the poster's father and four siblings have either been ignoring or gone low contact with their mother. She has since asked her estranged husband for a divorce, angering her children further. At a recent family dinner, the poster finally had enough of his family's behavior, telling them to "grow up."

He said: "They were talking s*** about her, thus I told them to grow up and stop acting like kids since they are not.

"I told them that they should be happy about their mom's happiness, because that woman dedicated her life to make life easier for them and it's so unfair that they s*** on her while praising my grandpa (who had girlfriends by the way)."

His family called the poster an "a******" for "not taking their feelings into consideration." They also said it didn't feel right for their mom to be dating at "this age," and continued to accuse her of cheating.

"This isn't cheating," he said. "They haven't been together for around 25 years.

"I think they need to understand that their parents ain't getting back together (in case they have a hope) and that grandma has a right to be happy."

Users agreed that the poster's father and siblings were out of line, with the post receiving more than 5,000 upvotes and over 400 comments.

"How are these grown a** adults still acting like this towards their parents after 25 years of separation & a dad that was in and out of their lives?!" asked go4thNlurk.

"It's real hard to call her new man an 'affair partner' when she hasn't had a relationship with their father since slap bracelets were in style the first time," said Aggressive_Pass845.

"I loved the 'choosing her affair partner over her own kids,'" wrote cbm984. "Y'all are 30+ years old! She's not abandoning her toddlers to go party at her boyfriends!"

While chaoticmagicmushroom commented: "Your grandma has the right to be happy at any age.

"Your family needs to accept that, and let her have some joy and happiness in her life finally, when she can focus on herself, instead of focusing on raising 5 kids alone."

Newsweek has reached out to u/Fancy-Winter2122 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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