Bride Refusing To Pay Wedding Musician for Wearing the Bridal Color Slammed

The rule about not wearing white dresses to someone else's wedding is well known, but what would you do if the bride decided to swap white with blue without telling anyone—and you just happened to rock up in azure?

The internet has sided with a harpist after a bride refused to pay her for turning up in the same color dress to a wedding.

In a post shared on Reddit on Sunday, the 18-year-old harpist, who goes by the username lyanfrant, explained that she was asked to play at the wedding of her father's friend.

"Normally, I would ask for payment beforehand, but since it was a family friend, they asked if they could just pay me at the reception and I told them yes. The dates worked out for me, and it was set in a church about 1 hour from my house."

On the wedding day, once she arrived at the venue, the bride's mother-in-law rushed towards her and told her to buy a different dress because the bride was wearing the same color (navy blue). The harpist rejected this instruction as the shop nearby was too expensive and would cost more than what she'd earn for her performance.

She explained that prior to the wedding she had shown her dress to the bride and groom, and had it approved by them. The wedding went smoothly according to the harpist. Problems only arose at the end of the reception, when it was time to collect the payment.

"At the reception, when I talked [to the] mother in law about payment, she refused to pay me. I didn't want to cause a scene, but the bride came over and heard us talking. This time, she was also upset with me and also refused to pay me. I didn't know what to do. As my parents were busy and couldn't attend this wedding, I didn't have anyone there to back me up."

The harpist left without payment and had to get her father involved to get her money back. The internet is now raging against the bride and her family.

According to research by The Knot, the average price for a live band/musician at a wedding is around $4,300. About 13 percent of couples who wed in 2021 had a live band play at their reception, though that does vary by region. Nearly 20 percent of couples who married in the Mid-Atlantic had a live band, while just 10 percent of Midwestern couples hired live music for their reception.

The Reddit post, which was first shared on the r/AmITheA**hole sub, has attracted a lot of attention, already reaching over 15,500 upvotes and 1306 comments. One user, 82llewkram, commented: "NTA. You had it approved twice and the bride was okay with it. Glad your parents backed you and you got paid."

And chubutisaurus added: "Agreed. NTA. Part of me believes the bride approved it so she could later use it as an excuse to not pay OP because "OP wore the same color dress as I did which is just absolutely awful and not okay" blah blah."

Another user, fdar said: "Lesson here is get paid upfront. No money no music." koinu-chan_love added: "And stop undercharging people." And rogue144 explained: "Yup. You want customers who understand your worth and are willing to pay accordingly."

Rodney_Copperbottom suggested: "OP: Perhaps in the future you should type up a contract and have whoever is paying for the wedding sign it along with you. Might need a slot to fill in the color of the bride's dress, so that it's signed off and you know what color to avoid. This protects both sides ahead of time so there are no surprises; plus, you have a legal document to force payment in case a similar situation arises."

woman playing harp
A stock image shows a woman playing the harp. The internet has sided with an harpist after a bride refused to pay her wedding performance because she wore a dress the same color has hers, and it wasn't even white. Getty Images