'Bridezilla' Sends List of Demands to Bridesmaids, Sparks Debate Over Wedding Costs

A bride-to-be's list of what she expects her bridesmaids to pay for has sparked a debate over wedding costs.

A screengrab reveals the self-confessed "bridezilla" was debating whether the message she sent to her bridal party was "too harsh," after none of the women replied.

In the message, she informs her bridesmaids they will have to foot the bill for their dress, shoes, hair and makeup—while also demanding they all have "natural" hair color.

It seems the bride has a very specific vision that her attendants will need to stick to, as she also sent inspiration for the outfits.

The post was shared to Reddit earlier this month by user Springflowers2016, although it's not clear whether she is one of the bridesmaids.

"Bridezilla sends out this text and wonders why nobody responds," she captioned the post, which has been upvoted nearly 1,000 times.

It reads: "I sent my bridesmaids a group message to make sure that everyone is on board with everything and NO ONE is responding.

"I had to rewrite it three times because I'm so scared of sounding mean! I finally sent it, and they read it but NO ONE has responded, is it too harsh?"

The bride-to-be then shares the message, which reads: "Hey ladies! Wedding crunch time is approaching fast so I wanted to just message everyone at once so we're all on the same page with everything.

"We will be going AS A GROUP to get dresses either in December or January, so we all need to figure out a date that works for all of us. All bridesmaids have to pay for their own dress, shoes, hair and makeup (makeup and hair inspiration pics attached as well as dress and bouquet inspiration.)

"Everyone in my bridal party MUST have natural colored hair. I am currently working with a florist on your bouquets as well, if you'd like to pitch in to pay for your own bouquet the help is greatly appreciated."

She goes on to list the names of the bridal party and it seems she's not offering an option to decline, as she adds that the list of which bridesmaid will walk down the aisle with which groomsman is "NOT negotiable."

Remote file
Reddit post sharing text message from a bride-to-be.

The text continues: "I know it seems like I'm being a total bridezilla and I promise I'm not trying to be, I just wanna make sure that everybody is one the same page with this and that everyone is 100% on board. I love all of you and I am so happy to be sharing my special day with all of you."

The post amassed hundreds of comments, as people debated what bridesmaids are meant to pay for.

BoyzMom13 said: "At least she put all her cards on the table with enough time for whoever wants to back out without them having spent any $ yet. Hate to hear what the hen party demands are going to be."

Caligirl1975 wrote: "As someone who hasn't had a 'natural' hair color in years, anyone who requested I change my appearance for them is going to watch me walk out of their life. That's like asking me to change who I am. Anyone who'd demand that isn't a good enough friend for me to be their bridesmaid."

Sdbinnl commented: "Ummm words like 'Have to, Must, No negotiation' etc are a red flag to a bull, where is the 'ask'.? Its all about a military show with the colonel at the forefront. Stating that everyone HAS to pay for their own dresses, make up etc should have been discussed with each bridesmaid individually to ensure they were comfortable. What you are asking is not so bad but, its the way in which you are asking."

Mjchambers0904 agreed, writing: "Right? Who talks to their friends like that? There are much kinder ways to get your point across while still stressing it's important."

Isamurai2 posted: "Ultimately it's mostly normal I agree. I think it's the tone she is using and how demanding it sounds. This isn't the way I'd talk to a group of people essentially doing me an expensive favor. These days a bridal party is just props for photos but you're supposed to at least pretend to be grateful for them."

Imnotaccountant wrote: "Honestly other than asking them to pay for their bouquets and the natural coloured hair, the rest seems fine. I've always paid for my own dress, hair & makeup and I've never decided who I was walking with. But the way she is stating things is rude."

lucia-pacciola added: "Is it just me, or are all of these things that should have been agreed on before adding each person to the wedding party?"

LefeioJ pointed out: "MUST, have to, NOT negotiable.... just some of the reason why no one responded."

However wedding website The Knot seems to side with the bride on most of the costs.

According to the website, members of the bridal party are expected to fork out for their wedding ensemble, including dresses, shoes and accessories, along with the bridal shower and gift, the bachelorette party, wedding present, hotel and travel.

The bride and groom are expected to pay for bouquets, corsages and any other floral accessory, wedding day transportation, hair and makeup, and accommodation the night before the wedding.

The Knot added: "If you request your bridesmaids get their hair and makeup done professionally, then you should pay. If you're impartial, but your bridesmaids insist on using a professional glam squad, offer to split the bill or pay for it as their bridesmaid gift—otherwise, they can cover their own beauty services."

Newsweek has reached out to springflowers2016 for comment.

File photo of bridesmaids.
File photo of bridesmaids. A woman's text to her bridal party, telling them what she expects them to pay for, sparked a debate on Reddit. Getty Images/Steve Alejandro