Woman Not Letting Brother-in-Law Sleep in Her Room During Holiday Praised

A 21-year-old woman who refused to let her 37-year-old brother-in-law stay the night in her hotel room following an argument with his wife has received praise and support from users on Reddit. Her parents claimed she had created "unnecessary tension" and was "acting selfish" by refusing to do so, according to the user.

According to the post shared by user throwawayJudi5797 on Reddit's Am I the A**hole (AITA) forum, the incident took place during a family vacation with her parents, her 31-year-old sister and her brother-in-law and their two children.

The parents had booked two hotel rooms but the user said she paid to book herself a separate room.

A couple talking near a door.
A man standing by a door outside a room, while speaking to a woman who is standing inside the room with her hand on the side of the door. A woman has been praised by Reddit users for refusing to let her older "creepy" brother-in-law stay at the night in her hotel room. iStock/Getty Images Plus

The user said she noticed that her sister and brother-in-law were "acting strange" before they arrived at the resort and an argument ensued between them, which ended with her sister "kicking him out of the hotel room" where they were staying with their kids.

The user said her brother-in-law later "knocked on my door at 1 a.m. asking if he could stay with me for the night because 'my crazy sister' unfairly yelled at him and kicked him out.

"I tried to pressure him to tell me but he stalled. I said I didn't feel comfortable having him sleep in my room but he snapped and told me that he was like a brother to me and I was being paranoid," the user added.

When the user said she would speak to her sister to allow him back into their hotel room, her brother-in-law claimed it was his wife who had told him to stay with his sister-in-law.

"I suggested that I have mom come stay with me and he [her brother-in-law] stay with dad but he refused. I declined and said I couldn't let him spend the night in my room period," said the user.

The brother-in-law then allegedly got mad at the user and went "borderline hysteric" to a point that the hotel staff had to get involved. Her sister began arguing with her husband again, which later resulted in him sleeping outside.

The user said: "My parents thought I should've let him stay with me but my sister said it would've been inappropriate and denied telling him to knock on my door and ask to stay with me."

According to the user, her parents insisted she "should've let him stay" in her room and that she had created "unnecessary tension and added more stress to the vacation by acting selfish."

The user from the latest AITA post, which amassed over 9,400 upvotes and more than 1,000 comments, received a storm of support from other users for pushing back against the brother-in-law, who was described as a "creep" and "aggressive" with "creepy vibes" by some users who commented on the post.

In a comment that received over 14,000 upvotes, user cplumbtree wrote: "It's your room that you paid for, you have every right to deny people to stay in it. Even if you didn't pay for it, your comfort is most important and your BIL [brother-in-law] sounds like a major creep."

SatoriNamast3 noted the brother-in-law has "super creepy vibes," highlighting the fact that he "lied to you about sister saying she said to stay with you."

It sounded like he was having "a full on amygdala hijack (mental breakdown)" and being "passive aggressive," wrote SatoriNamast3, adding: "your parents are being total AH [a**hole] for not having empathy for you." The comment received 9,700 upvotes at the time of publishing.

AlternativeSquash206 noted the fact that the brother-in-law had lied about his wife telling him to stay with her sister "sends up crazy red flags. No one with innocent intentions lies like that."

The user wrote: "And then the absolute refusal to even consider any other option besides sleeping outside?? It's so manipulative, he wants OP [original poster] to feel guilty she didn't give him what he wanted. I have no idea why the parents think this is acceptable behavior on any level, it's so creepy and inappropriate and manipulative!" in a comment that received 4,500 upvotes.

Several other users also criticized the parents for their alleged lack of support for their younger daughter's decision.

User paingry wrote: "And what kind of parents don't back up their daughter when she says she's not comfortable with a man sleeping in her room? 'I'm not comfortable with this situation' should have been the end of the discussion. Who paid for what is irrelevant," in a post that received 433 upvotes.

User sailingisgreat said: "This whole thing about OP being a 21 yr old female and BIL being a 37 yr old man is not being given enough emphasis higher up. I love my BIL like a brother but I would never consider sleeping in a hotel room with him, it's not appropriate (as OP's sister said later) no matter how 'brotherly' he might be otherwise, and particularly when OP's sister and he are having a huge fight."

User sailingisgreat added that: "The way OP described BIL's behavior, he was very suspicious as to his intentions," concluding that "everyone else except [her] sister is an AH here."

"Hope OP finds out what's really going on with sister and BIL, and that sister understands how creepily aggressive her husband was towards OP," sailingisgreat wrote.

According to a November 2017 study in the journal Innovation in Aging, family relationships are "enduring and consequential for well-being across the life course."

They provide resources that can "help an individual cope with stress, engage in healthier behaviors, and enhance self-esteem, leading to higher well-being," while "poor relationship quality, intense caregiving for family members, and marital dissolution are all stressors that can take a toll on an individual's well-being," the study concluded.

Family vacations, as tricky as they may be to navigate, can also offer beneficial effects.

A February 2022 study in the Tourism Management journal showed that "parents' well-being and children's generic skills increased from before to after the family tourism experience."

The study's findings "highlight the importance of considering multiple perspectives from family members and identify the benefits of their interactions."

Newsweek has contacted user throwawayJudi5797 for comment.

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