Dad Backed For Protecting Daughter From Grandmother's Body-Shaming Gifts

A protective dad is being supported for telling his mother-in-law the wrong address in order to avoid her sending insulting gifts to his daughter.

The dad, u/Beneficial_Gas2232, shared his story to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, asking if he was in the wrong. He earned over 15,500 upvotes and 1,400 comments for his post, "[Am I the A**hole] for giving my [mother-in-law] the wrong address so she could no longer send her granddaughter gifts?"

He says that he's been married for 15 years, and he and his wife have a 14-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son. Two years ago, his mother-in-law sent a crash dieting book for her granddaughter's birthday.

"Our daughter was devastated because the underlying message was clear as day. It was a month until she started eating a whole plate of food for dinner again," u/Beneficial_Gas2232 wrote. "Our daughter is a healthy girl. She is highly active, studious, and most importantly, happy."

However, he writes, his mother-in-law thinks the teen isn't "reaching her 'full potential'" and could be a model if she loses weight. However, given his daughter's reaction to the diet book, he says it's become his "mission" to "block any unsupervised contact, and this includes gifts."

The family had recently moved, and ahead of his daughter's birthday, his mother-in-law texted asking for their new address. He replied with a fake address before his wife could respond, and told her that she didn't need to answer the text.

"I couldn't guarantee that I'd be home to intercept any gifts, and my daughter would open something addressed to her," u/Beneficial_Gas2232 wrote.

The ruse fell apart, however, when the grandmother's gift was returned to her. He says both she and his wife were "furious," as his mother-in-law said it was a "completely innocent package." But when the gift was finally delivered to the right location, the original poster (OP) intercepted it—and found it was a uniform for his daughter's hobby: baton-twirling. However, it was "at least two sizes too small," he wrote.

"I sat my wife down with the stupid thing in front of us and said it was clearly intentional, which my wife refuses to acknowledge. Now she and her mother are even madder at me for throwing the uniform into the neighbor's garbage (with the neighbor's permission)," he wrote, asking the community if he was wrong to do so.

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A man is being supported for lying to his mother-in-law about where they live in order to stop her sending awful gifts to his daughter. iStock/Getty Images

While there are many healthy ways to lose weight, crash dieting is not one of them. Crash dieting not just slows down the metabolism—which has the opposite effect in the long-term, making it easier for the body to gain weight, according to Kimberly Gomer, director of nutrition at the Pritikin Longevity Center, but it's hard on the body. Crash dieting not only cuts out calories, but nutrients the body desperately needs to function, and this lack of nutrition can cause anemia or osteoporosis, as well as increasing the risk for cardiac disease, Gomer says.

"When depleting [the body] of these nutrients, some people experience depression, irritability or moodiness, as well as exhaustion and low energy," said Gomer. "There are a variety of disorders that come from crash dieting such as bulimia or anorexia. In the long run, the risk of liver and kidney failure, brain damage and calcium deficiencies that cause osteoporosis are just not worth it."

Celebrities like Beyoncé have been criticized in the past for sharing crash diets, while others like Shailene Woodley have done crash diets to get a drastic result for a role—while being upfront about how miserable it is.

Redditors had u/Beneficial-Gas2232's back.

"[Not the A**hole]. You don't have a [mother-in-law] problem. You have a wife problem. It's time for you and your wife to have an honest discussion about how she views your daughter's weight," u/Own-Blackberry2647 wrote in the top-rated comment with 26,600 upvotes.

"Your wife/mom should acknowledge that her mother has issues with her granddaughter's weight whether she's overweight or not doesn't matter it's none of her business," u/FredStone2020 added.

"OP has a HUGE problem at home if wife agrees or treats this 14 year old girl like grandma. Grandma and wife are fine with giving this 14 year old teen insecurities, eating disorders and needing years of therapy. [Not the A**hole] but OP needs to do something before is too late," u/Commercial-Loan-929 wrote.

"Definitely [Not the A**hole], my dad contributed to my [eating disorder] with offhand remarks and doesn't understand how impactful those are at that age. OP could have handled it a bit better, maybe talking with his wife first, but its nice to see him looking out for his daughter like that," u/Actual-Ad6937 wrote.

"So. I applaud you standing up for and protecting your daughter. For that, you are [Not the A**hole]. While people are quick to say you are, as you didn't communicate with your wife... given that she refuses to see an issue with her mother doing this, i disagree with Reddit and you are [Not the A**hole] there, as well. Bravo to you for prioritizing your daughter. She needs someone in her corner, for sure," u/Popular-Emu7380 wrote.

"That being said, I would make an appointment for couples counseling, and talk to the counselor specifically about this issue, how your wife doesn't have concerns with it. You two do need to communicate, and get on the same page. Your [mother-in-law] needs to stop bullying and body shaming your daughter, who sounds like a normal, healthy child. [Mother-in-law] can go pound sand. I would go as far as to talk to your daughter - does she even want to see [mother-in-law]? Otherwise,go low / no contact," they continued.

Newsweek reached out to u/Beneficial-Gas2232 for comment.