Dad Dragged for Secretly Naming Son for Dead Brother, Defying Mom's Wishes

Internet commenters were quick to defend one mother who refused to speak with her husband after he legally named their newborn son what he wanted, instead of using the name the couple agreed upon.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/ThrowRA-59970 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) explained how her husband crumbled under pressure from his family, and why she has stonewalled him ever since.

Titled, "AITA for refusing to speak to my husband until he changes the name he put on our son's birth certificate," the viral post has received nearly 21,000 votes and more than 3,400 comments in the last 12 hours.

Writing that the couple had been waiting for five years to have children, the original poster was clear that she disagreed with any plans to name her child after her deceased brother-in-law, and assured that both she and her husband were on the same page before she gave birth.

"There was so much fuss about the name choice because my in laws wanted to use my deceased BIL's name," she wrote. "My husband sided with them and insisted we go with it, but seeing their obsession with it, I refused."

"My husband then sat with me and we agreed on a name we both chose," she added.

After their son was born, a series of complications left the original poster in the hospital for longer than initially expected, leaving her husband to take care of completing the newborn's birth certificate and confirming his name.

"My husband handled [the] paper work, however, when we received the birth certificate, I discovered that he put [brother-in-law's] name and not the one we picked," u/ThrowRA-59970 revealed.

"I lost it and had a breakdown, then I shut down completely. I stopped talking to him after telling him that I won't speak to him 'til he changes the name," she continued. "He said he had to do this otherwise his family [was] going to shun him...[he] said he'll get endless privileges like college fund, car, inheritance and will be loved unconditionally 'cause he has his uncle's name."

Baby name disagreement
Redditors came to the defense of one mother whose husband named their newborn after his deceased brother, against her wishes. fizkes/iStock / Getty Images Plus

For expecting couples, deciding what to name a newborn baby can be exciting—and stressful.

In a poll conducted by Baby Center, an online resource for pregnancy and parenting advice, more than half of parents said they disagreed with their partner about what to name their baby. And while the majority of parents said they were able to come to an agreement, or compromise, there are scenarios when baby name debates become stalemates.

When expecting couples are unable to agree on a name for their child, Baby Center recommends that couples wanting more than one child take turns choosing names. For couples who don't want more than one child, or are unsure about having more children, splitting naming responsibilities between first and middle names is a possible solution.

However, when disagreements over baby names are caused by external family members, there is the potential for greater vitriol.

In cases when family members, such as grandparents, aunts or uncles, disagree with potential baby names, parenting website Very Well Family recommends a stern, but understanding approach.

Advising parents to first validate the opinions of skeptical relatives, Very Well Family maintains that it is important for expecting parents to stick with their choice of baby names.

"A family member's first or even second reaction can seem off-putting," the website reads. "However, once grandma and grandpa, or aunts and uncles have a chance to bond with the new baby, the displeasure of the name can be long forgotten."

"Help family members focus on the relationship they'll be building with the baby, as opposed to the child's name," it continues.

Despite the expectation that name disagreements will melt away after the baby is born, many Redditors responding to the viral thread posted by @ThrowRA-59970 were adamant that her husband never allowed that to be possible.

In the post's top comment, which has received more than 30,000 votes, Redditor u/Cats-are-better2119 encouraged the original poster to stop her husband and his family from treating the newborn like a reincarnation of his deceased brother.

"If you have more children, how are they going to feel watching their brother be the favorite because of his name," they questioned.

"Put a stop to this now," they added.

Redditor u/CreativeAirQuotes, whose response has received more than 6,000 votes, said the original poster's husband betrayed her, and eviscerated the list of advantages he provided to justify his actions.

"What he did was a huge betrayal, and frankly, he's getting off lightly with the silent treatment," they commented. "Also, his list of 'pros' is crap. If those are things your son would have with BIL's name, they are things he should still have with the name the two of you chose together."

"Your husband has [zero] respect for you," another Redditor chimed in. "This while you had just given birth to his child and had a medical emergency."

"How are you ever going to trust him again?" they added.