Dad Supported for Not Letting Daughters Sleep at Grandparents' Unsupervised

Commenters praised a man after he told his wife their daughters could not go to her parents' house without supervision after she made comments about their daughter's body.

The anonymous man, known only as u/Superduppppy, posted about the situation on Reddit's popular r/AmITheA**hole forum where it received more than 13,000 upvotes and 1,300 comments, many warning that the grandparents' words could cause the child to develop an eating disorder.

An estimated 30 million people suffer from an eating disorder, with nearly 95 percent being between the ages of 12 and 25, according to Johns Hopkins All Children's Hospital.

There are five main types of eating disorders that have the highest risk of death from any mental illness: Anorexia nervosa, Bulimia nervosa, Binge eating disorder, Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder, and Other specified feeding or eating disorder.

Dad not allowing kids at grandparents unsupervised
A man told his wife their daughters could not sleep at their grandparents' house unsupervised after he found out the grandma was making comments about the 10-year-old's body. gpointstudio/iStock

In the post titled "AITA for telling my wife no more unsupervised visits between our kids and their grandparents?" the man explained that he and his wife have two daughters, 10 and 6, who often spend the weekends at their grandparents' house. Although, he mentioned that he is not the 10-year-old's biological father.

"I've noticed our 10 y/o for a few weeks has been quiet upon picking them up, she wouldn't tell me what was wrong though," the post read.

The poster claimed that after recently picking up his stepdaughter, he noticed she was emotional and had been crying. After "some prying," his daughter said her grandmother was being rude to her by forbidding any treats and making comments about her body.

The post explained that although the six-year-old eats whatever she wants, the 10-year-old is only allowed vegetables and chicken and is told that when she loses weight, she can "enjoy these things in moderation."

"This morning the grandparents brought in donuts. 10 y/o snuck one and went to their room," the post read. "Grandmother walked in to find her shoving it behind the bed after taking a bite. She flipped her lid on her for sneaking food and making a mess."

The man said he was "so livid" that he left the girls in the car and spoke to his mother-in-law in the parking lot.

He said although he was aggressive with his tone and words, the grandma's only response was that she "has to take matters into her own hands" because he, as her "stepfather," does not care about her health.

"My daughter seemed relieved in the sense she got it off her chest and I told her to ignore her grandmother because that was very inappropriate behavior," the post read.

Afterward, the man and his daughters went to the grocery store and, feeling bad, he decided to buy both girls a gift.

"When we got home, my wife was very upset about how I spoke to her mother," the post read. "I told her what she did, she saw the girl's toys I bought. My wife says, 'You know regardless of how you feel about what my mom did, I can't believe you rewarded bad behavior because she (10 y/o) did disobey my mom's rule about only eating healthy foods while at her house.'"

The man responded that she was "traumatizing" their daughter and insisted that there were no more unsupervised stays at their house.

"My wife said that was totally unreasonable and I needed to apologize to her mother for my 'explosive' behavior over the phone," the post read. "I'm man enough to apologize for my tone, but not the plan of action to protect the child."

More than 1,300 users commented on the post, many supporting the man's actions and calling out the grandmother for potentially causing his daughter to form an eating disorder.

"NTA. That little girl is lucky to have you," one user commented. "Her mother and grandmother are only going to succeed in giving that child body issues and an eating disorder if they keep this up."

"Imagine body shaming a 10 year old. That's just foul," one comment read. "Let the 10 year old eat a donut, grandma. There isn't any harm in a child having a treat every now and then."

"NTA as a person who's had eating disorders partly also because of grandparent's comments I applaud you for protecting the girl from a life of hating her body," another user wrote. "You keep being a good stepdad!"

"Your MIL is going to give your daughter an eating disorder, and your wife is enabling her. They're both putting your daughter's mental and physical health in danger," one user wrote. "Your wife needs to put her big girl pants on and protect her daughter."

Newsweek reached out to u/Superduppppy for comment.