'Fuming': Man Slammed for Secretly Disinviting Fiancé's Stepsisters From Wedding

The internet has slammed a man who disinvited his fiancé's stepsisters from their wedding behind her back, after suggesting she should only have "immediate family" present.

The 25-year-old took to Reddit's Am I The A**hole forum to vent about her partner's actions, explaining they're getting married next month.

There have been no hiccups apart from one—the size of the guest list—with her fiancé claiming they needed to cut down the numbers.

The bride-to-be, posting under Lightendoftunnel1, explained she had a large family, including two stepsisters, 18 and 20, a biological brother, 27, and a biological sister, 30. In contrast, her fiancé has no siblings.

She wrote: "My fiancé argued that the guest list should be cut short and suggested I only invite my 'immediate family,' and I asked him to elaborate and he suggested excluding my stepsisters.

"I said no and got upset with him for implying that they're not family, he said 'well, this wasn't what I meant. I was just speaking from a technical angle,' especially since I didn't include them in the wedding party like MOH and bridesmaids.

"So he thought they were 'unneeded' but I said they are wanted, and will always be wanted and included by me."

She seemingly thought that was the end of the matter, so was puzzled when her stepsisters phoned her, and said her fiancé had uninvited them, spinning "some lie about changing wedding location and telling them they won't be able to come."

According to The Knot the average size of a wedding in 2021 was 105, up from the COVID-impacted low of just 66 in 2020, which is slowly creeping up to its pre-pandemic level of 131 in 2019.

And it goes without saying the bigger the guest list, the bigger the bill, with the average cost of tying the knot in 2021 $28,000. The website cited $75 as the average price per person for catering, which can easily blow a budget.

Lightendoftunnel1 confronted her husband-to-be after finding out what he'd done, saying: "I was fuming, I went home and started screaming at him. He asked that I hear him out then explained he had no choice since we were required to shorten the list, and he just did my 'dirty work for me' since I obviously was looking at the situation from an 'emotional angle' and couldn't bring myself to disinvite my stepsisters myself.

"I told him he hurt my stepsisters by going behind my back and excluding them from my wedding which they've been so excited about. He got up from the couch and yelled that it's our wedding so my stepsisters feelings aren't really that relevant compared to H.I.S and called me controlling for wanting my way or the highway."

And to add insult to injury, she claims he had kept six of his friends on the guest list, as she raged "who, as far as I know, aren't immediate family."

She claims her fiancé went running to his friends after their row, who rang her up to "scold" her, about "how rude I was to suggest that 'their brother' disinvite them from the wedding just because I don't like them and called it 'a you problem'."

The fiancé's post has amassed more than 20,000 upvotes since being shared on Wednesday, with numerous people questioning why they were getting married.

Malarkay79 wrote: "100 percent jumping on the bandwagon. Please don't marry him, OP. But seriously, why are his friends more important than your stepsisters? He can uninvite two of his friends and then you can both have four people each who are there for you out of the group listed."

Reddituser6495 commented: "Did all that and then proceeded to gaslight her when she confronted him, sounds like a charmer. DON'T MARRY HIM OP!"

Throwfaraway212718 advised: "Don't cut the list down to zero, just have a really nice party and cut HIS invitation. At this point, OP's not getting those deposits back. Celebrate the fact you're now free from that emotionally manipulative jerk, OP!"

TwillBill pointed out: "He literally just told her that what is important to her doesn't matter and made himself look like the victim to everyone for her daring to stand up to him. Imagine raising kids with that guy."

The guest list is a hot topic for couples planning their nuptials, and can be a source for disagreement, with website Brides noting: "Narrowing down the guest list is one of the most stressful parts of planning a wedding."

They addressed the issue of extended family, although not specifically step-siblings, saying: "Extended family invitations are tricky. Who even knows the difference between second cousins and first cousins once removed, anyway?

"The general rule of thumb is if one uncle gets an invitation, all of your aunts and uncles need to get an invitation—the same goes for cousins or second cousins too.

"This isn't much of an issue for small families, but with a large extended family, this can take up the bulk of your guest list."

Newsweek reached out to Lightendoftunnel1 for comment.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

File photo of a wedding cake.
File photo of a wedding cake. A woman has raged at her fiancé after he secretly cut her stepsisters from the guest list. mofles/Getty Images