30 Cringe-Inducing 'Dad Jokes' for Thanksgiving (Safe for Kids)

Thanksgiving is the perfect occasion to spend time with your loved ones, have some good food together and show your gratitude to the most important people in your life.

But, as you might well be aware, the preparations and close proximity of family members can—on occasion—get a little intense. Fear not.

These wholesome but funny jokes, listed below, are perfect ice-breakers that could help to quickly lighten the mood and fill your guests with laughter, not just turkey.

Their punchlines might be obvious but they are endearingly corny.

Enjoy (or cringe) at these so-called "dad jokes" that are perfect for Thanksgiving:

Turkey Thanksgiving jokes

  • What type of key can never open doors? A tur-key.
  • What does Frankenstein like to have on the fourth Thursday of November? Turkey with grave-y.
  • What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
  • What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky.
  • Can you season the turkey for me? There's not thyme!
  • What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy.
  • Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey? He sensed fowl play.
Doctor with stethoscope on baked Thanksgiving turkey.
Stock photo shows model dressed as a doctor listening with stethoscope for heartbeat of baked Thanksgiving turkey. iStock
  • When is turkey soup bad for your health? When you are the turkey.
  • Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey, because it is always stuffed.
  • When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving.
  • Where do you find a turkey with no legs? Exactly where you left it.
  • Can a turkey jump higher than a house? Yes, because houses can't jump!
  • Why did the turkey play the drums in his band? Because he already had drumsticks!

Cranberry Jokes

  • What would happen if a cranberry became sad? It would turn into a blueberry.
  • ​​What made the cranberries go red? They saw the turkey dressing.
  • Will I eat leftovers for a week? I cran, and I will.

Thanksgiving Classics

  • What will you serve at Thanksgiving dinner if you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes? Squash.
  • With coronavirus still around this year, what's likely to be the most popular side dish? Masked potatoes.
  • What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner? The casse-role.
  • Who scared the cranberry? The booberry.
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers.
  • Knock Knock. Who's there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I don't eat this much.
  • Knock, knock. Who's there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren't you?
  • Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
  • How did the salt and pepper welcome all the guests? By saying: "Seasoning's greetings!"
  • What did the salad say to the butter who kept making jokes? You're on a roll.
  • What do you call the age of a Pilgrim? A pilgrimage.
  • What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.
  • Why did the policeman crash Thanksgiving dinner? To stop people from going over the feed limit.
  • What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner? Your nose.
Cartoon decorated Thanksgiving table top.
Graphic showing Thanksgiving dinner with hands of people, decorated table top view. Happy Thanksgiving! iStock