Internet Backs Redditor Who Refuses to Host Thanksgiving for Fiancé's 20+ Family Members

A Redditor who is refusing to host Thanksgiving for her fiancé's 20-plus family members has won the internet's support.

Posting in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum on Wednesday under the username u/FinalBlackberry, the Redditor explained that, for the past four years, she's "single-handedly" cooked Thanksgiving dinner for her fiancé's family.

"There's a lot of logistics behind cooking for a large crowd. I start prepping the night before, cook all morning and afternoon and by the time everything is done I'm too exhausted to enjoy the food I cooked and eat," u/FinalBlackberry wrote in a post that has racked up over 18,000 votes and more than 1,700 comments.

She added that she's never been thanked, and claimed the family tends to take home the leftovers, leaving her and her fiancé with little to eat the following day.

"This year I told my partner that I have no intention of cooking," said u/FinalBlackberry. "If he wanted to host, he can cater. His reaction was 'but that's our tradition,' 'can't you at least make some boxed stuffing or something' and 'everyone is planning on coming.'"

But u/FinalBlackberry put her foot down.

"He has not spoken to me since," she said. "[Am I the a**hole] for not wanting to entertain 20+ people twice a year, every year?"

Because of the pandemic, inflation and supply-chain issues, Thanksgiving has been a hot topic recently. Specifically, people have been wondering how much Thanksgiving dinner will cost this year.

According to the Farm Bureau, the average cost for a dinner for 10 people will be $53.31—up $6.41 from last year.

Curt Covington, senior director of institution credit at AgAmerica Lending, previously told Newsweek: "There is nothing on that Thanksgiving table that is going to be spared from price rises.

"The only way to control the cost of your meal is to have a smaller meal and a smaller gathering," he added.

As it turns out, u/FinalBlackberry and her fiancé are expected to save a lot this year. After u/FinalBlackberry shared her story with Reddit, her fiancé "canceled" Thanksgiving altogether because he didn't like that u/FinalBlackberry was "venting to strangers on the internet."

Commenters were quick to rush to u/FinalBlackberry's defense.

"NTA [not the a**hole] because cooking is exhausting, plus the cleaning the house before AND after, and she doesn't even get to enjoy leftovers? And her partner is an absolute child." said u/dragonstkdgirl.

"NTA at all—you have put so much work into a family gathering and never got any form of gratitude. Does your partner know the amount of work that goes into cooking such a big dinner? Do they know the reason why you want to stop? If the answer is yes to both those questions, your partner and their family gets the big Y T A [you're the a**hole]," added u/bageltan.

Redditor u/MsBaseball34 said: "NTA. You didn't tell him he couldn't host, just that he had to hire a caterer. That's his problem. After 4 years if no one says thank you there is zero point in doing it. Relax and enjoy your day."

Newsweek reached out to u/FinalBlackberry for comment.

Thanksgiving dinner
A Redditor who is refusing to host Thanksgiving for their fiancé’s 20+ family members has won the support of the internet. bhofack2/istock