Grandparent Slammed for Spending More Money on Granddaughter Than Grandson

In a post going viral on social media, the internet has slammed a grandparent for spending more money on their granddaughter than their grandson.

Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a grandparent under the anonymous username u/Indivuidal-One-2578 shared their story in order to get the opinions of the "AITA" community—which has over 4 million followers. The post has over 4,000 upvotes and 1,300 comments.

The original poster (OP) began their post by explaining that they have two grandchildren, "Jake" and "Maya" and they confirm they are cousins and not siblings. They recently turned 18 and 18th birthday parties are "very important" in their family so for each of them, the grandparent told them they would get them whatever they wanted.

Grandparent not spending equal money on grandkids
A grandparent has been slammed for spending more money on granddaughter than grandson IURII KRASILNIKOV/iStock / Getty Images Plus

All Jake wanted was a new phone—which cost the grandparent around $1,000. They encouraged their grandson to ask for more things but he didn't want anything else. However, Maya asked for many things, rounding up the OP's total for her at $7,000. They were skeptical about purchasing all the items their granddaughter wanted but did it anyways as their grandson had the same offer.

"Jake's father(my son) was very angry at Maya's birthday. He said I'm showing favoritism. I tried to explain to him that I'm not because Jake had the same offer. his argument was that I raised Maya (her parents worked a lot and I was basically her babysitter) while I didn't have as much contact with Jake (his mom was a [stay-at-home mom]) so naturally Maya would be closer to me and it would be easier for her to ask me for things," they concluded.

Newsweek reached out to u/Indivuidal-One-2578 for comment.

Newsweek has published several articles regarding the topic of family conflict including a sister who raged about parents' "toxic" favoritism at a graduation party, an aunt who was praised after refusing to give her "entitled" nephew his birthday present, and a woman who refused to pay her parents' rent because of "second class" treatment.

What are the signs of "favoritism" and what are the effects on children?

Favoritism can be described as favoring someone more than another. Some signs of favoritism can include talking about one child, talking to one child more than another, teasing, favoring the gifted, talented and one's behavior, according to imom.com.

If a child feels favoritism from someone in their family, it can have several effects on them including anger, behavioral problems, depression, a lack of confidence in themselves and can have trouble interacting with others, per betterhelp.com.

Redditor response

"[You're the a**hole]. While you gave them a choice, which is nice, you should have decided that each one of them would get an equal value of gifts. If you spent $1,000 on one, that should have been the cap for the other. No one told you had to buy all the gifts on Maya's list. You made that choice," u/litt3lli0n wrote, receiving the top comment of over 10,000 upvotes.

U/Adorable_Accident440 questioned, "[You're the a**hole] for not capping the offer. I mean, really, who asks for $7000 worth of birthday items and actually gets them?"

U/Duke_Newcombe commented, "[You're the a**hole]. Yes, you did ask your grandson what he wanted, and were willing to buy it. Same for your granddaughter. If we were talking about a couple hundred extra dollars more, that'd be one thing. You spent seven times as much money on your granddaughter. Can you see how this might seem like you're showing favoritism, even accidentally?"

"[You're the a**hole]. Your granddaughter was too greedy. My grandparents spent equal amounts of money on my cousin and me for gifts," u/tcrhs said.