Internet Torn After Man Wanted to Leave Pregnant Wife to Visit Grandfather

The internet was left torn as a father-to-be wanted to leave his pregnant wife in order to visit his grandfather before he passed away.

Published to Reddit's popular r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man under the anonymous username u/Visible_Letter_9093 shared his story in order to receive opinions from the "AITA" community. The viral post has over 6,000 upvotes and 800 comments.

"My wife is really close to giving birth, and we are both super excited to welcome our baby girl into this world," the user began, "However, the issue is the fact that my 92 year old grandfather is sick and will most likely pass on in the next week or so. He has been one of the kindest, best, and coolest people I've known, and he had a huge hand in raising me, so I want to fly over there in a couple of days to say goodbye and attend his funeral."

Man leaving wife to visit dying grandfather
The internet has been left torn after a father-to-be wants to leave his pregnant wife to visit his dying grandfather. Goran13/iStock / Getty Images Plus

His wife argued that seeing his grandfather isn't as important as witnessing the birth of his daughter if she went into labor while he was away. He understands that being there for his wife is important, but was stuck in a predicament.

In a few updates made to the post, the original poster (OP) revealed that he and his wife reached a compromise. He decided that he was going to drive to his grandfather's hometown to say goodbye and then drive back home. While he was gone, family and friends stayed with his wife. In his final emotional talk with his grandfather, the OP asked him to pick the name of his daughter.

The father-to-be will be on Zoom so he can attend the funeral.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Visible_Letter_9093 for comment.

Are you currently morning the loss of a grandparent? Grieving is different for everyone. According to choosingtherapy.com, some ways to deal with a loss are sharing grief with family members and talking about happy memories, attending the funeral if possible, giving yourself time to grieve, writing down your thoughts in a journal and, if need be, attending grief support groups or speaking to a therapist.

There are five stages of grief, per helpguide.org.

  • Denial: The disbelief of what you're going through.
  • Anger: Asking why this has happened and who is to blame for these feelings.
  • Bargaining: You're willing to give up something in order for grieving to stop.
  • Depression: Feeling sad about the situation.
  • Acceptance: Understanding what has happened and being at peace with it.

Redditors took to the comments to debate.

"[No a**holes here]. Don't wait a couple of days. Fly there now, visit with him while he's still well enough to recognize you, and fly right home. Don't stay for the funeral. Life is more important than death. You've got a baby coming; people will understand (and those that won't aren't worth your time)," u/SamSpayedPI wrote with the top comment of over 12,000 votes.

U/peithecelt said, "[No a**holes here], but call your grandpa, spend some time on the phone with him ... You have a lifetime of memories with your Grandpa, you will NEVER get another chance to support your wife through the birth of this child, or to hold this child in it's first hours of life."

"Sorry, but [you're the a**hole]. I empathize with your situation. I just lost my grandmother. I have also given birth. Your wife needs you for support. It's not about watching the baby being born, it's about being there for your wife during a potentially deadly medical event. Given how wonderful your grandfather is, I'm sure he would understand," u/fauxrain wrote.

"Soft [you're the a**hole] because it isn't about being there for the baby it's about being there for your wife while she give birth. It's being her support and her advocate if she needs one. If god for bid something goes wrong your the one making the decisions that matter," u/bunnybunny690 said.