Internet Unable To Take Sides in Couple's Apartment Redecorating Fight

In a post going viral on social media, the internet finds it difficult to choose sides in a couple's apartment redecorating argument.

Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man under the anonymous username u/ThrowRA-Hyena9607 shared his story to get the opinions of the "AITA" community. The popular post has over 4,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

"I (29M) have been with my girlfriend (24F) for 2 years now," the Reddit user began, "We have not lived together before, but she's currently 18 weeks pregnant so I suggested that she move in with me once her lease was up. It ended at the end of June, so she's been living with me for almost 3 weeks now."

In the short time that the couple has been living together, things were going great. However, the original poster (OP) noticed that his girlfriend began to change some things in the apartment. He said that she only brought a few things over from her apartment since his place is fully furnished and understands that she wants it to feel like home.

Couple arguing over redecorating their apartment
The internet finds it difficult to choose sides over a couple arguing over how to redecorate their apartment. gorodenkoff/iStock / Getty Images Plus

He wrote, "Everything in my apartment is mid century modern, it's a mid century modern building and I bought the apartment because of how much I love that style. Some of the things that she's suggesting or bringing into the apartment absolutely does not go with that vibe. She's taken down some of my artwork and replaced it, cleared off shelves I curated and put her knickknacks on it, went through my pantry and cleared out things she thought were unhealthy, all without asking me.

"She works from home while I work in the office so she has a lot more time at the apartment than I do. I just wish she would run things by me first. I'm an architect, she's an editor and doesn't have that same designer eye which clearly shows," he continued.

The thing that bothered the OP the most was that his girlfriend was throwing away things without asking him. While taking out the trash, he noticed that some of his birthday cards were waiting to be taken out. When he confronted her about it, she called it "clutter." He argued that her belongings were more like clutter than his since his things had "sentimental value." She felt that she should have a say in decorations as she lives in the apartment as well.

While he agreed, he wishes that she would run things by him first. Since their argument, his girlfriend has been "very avoidant and passive aggressive."

Newsweek reached out to u/ThrowRA-Hyena9607 for comment.

Are you currently in a serious relationship and considering moving in together? Be sure you've spoken to each other about finances, have a plan to divide chores up, have a healthy way to work through arguments, and that you feel like you can be yourself around your partner and you feel excited about the thought of moving in with them, psychcentral.com recommends.

Moving in with a significant other where your styles aren't quite the same? According to apartmenttherapy.com, try to mix and match your styles since a home should reflect your unique style. Since there is a second person entering your place, it's a good idea to figure out what you want and don't want, and declutter your things to make room for new things.

If you're feeling spontaneous, throwing away all of your things and starting off fresh might also be a good option for you, especially if you move into a new place. If you're still struggling, hire an interior designer to help with your decorating needs.

Many Reddit users found them both in the wrong.

"[Everyone sucks here]: You do realize that when you have a baby, your 'carefully curated' apartment vibe will change very much, right? That said, she shouldn't be throwing your stuff out without asking you. Time to sit down, have an adult conversation and come up with a compromise," u/NorthernLitUp wrote, receiving the top comment with over 13,000 upvotes.

"[Everyone sucks here]. I would have said [not the a**hole] if not for the 'I told her to stop touching things in the apartment.' She has an equal say in what your space looks like and a right to make it feel like home for her. She's [the a**hole] for making changes without talking to you, and especially for throwing some of your stuff out without your consent. You guys need to have a talk and reach a compromise. Did you go out of your way to make her feel like the home is hers when she moved in? It doesn't necessarily sound like that's the case," u/ytzi13 said.

U/HalfBear-HalfCat pointed out, "[Everyone sucks here]. She should be able to help decorate the apartment, but she shouldn't throw away possibly sentimental items without asking. You also sound full of yourself."

U/fuwaldah questioned, "[Everyone sucks here]. You can't agree on how to decorate, but you're going to have a baby?"