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By Maria Morava
Relationships Reporter
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Some millennials are reaching an age when divorce seems to be all around them. But how are they faring compared with other generations?
A recent Reddit thread titled "Are there any happy marriages left or is it just me?" in the subreddit r/Millennials has sparked a debate about the state of millennial marriages with over 1,000 comments.
But are happy and persisting millennial marriages truly an exception? The answer, backed by statistics and expert insights shared with Newsweek, is a resounding no.
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Despite concerns raised in the thread, millennials are actually divorcing at lower rates compared with their predecessors.
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While baby boomers' divorce rate, for example, has roughly doubled from 5 to 10 divorces per 1,000 since the 1990s, according to a Pew Research report, millennials' divorce rate dropped by approximately 30 percent since 1990—from 33 to 23 per 1,000 people.
Similar trends have been observed in the UK. According to 2021 data from the Office for National Statistics, slightly over 18 percent of millennials have divorced after a decade of marriage versus 23 percent of Gen Xers and 22 percent of baby boomers.
Experts have shared with Newsweek some of the reasons why millennial marriages might be faring so well. The consensus? More knowledge, equality and communication.
What Makes Millennial Marriages Different?
Experts spoke to Newsweek about several generational shifts contributing to the success of millennial marriages.
Leigh Norén, a sex and relationships therapist, noted primarily that millennials' exposure to social media, in comparison to their Gen X and baby boomer counterparts, has led to a greater vocabulary around challenging topics.
"Millennials seem more versed and comfortable with topics such as mental health and sexuality compared to previous generations," she said. "I believe this makes a big difference as there is more knowledge and understanding of these difficulties, and therefore more open conversations about them."
Norén also pointed out that millennial marriages tend to emphasize equality, particularly in career ambitions: "Even though we've still got a long way to go, relationships tend to be more equal nowadays than they were—at least in terms of careers … You can more easily create the kind of relationship you want nowadays—you don't need to blindly follow ideas of what you're 'meant' to want or do."
Therapist Mandolin Moody echoed these assessments, adding that the values of millennial relationships include a better balance of intimacy, passion and commitment than older generations.
"Millennials' emphasis on equality, communication and mutual understanding has caused many marriages to reap the benefits of fostering emotional intimacy … compared to other generations that may have emphasized commitment over other relational qualities," she said.
Challenges to Millennial Marriages
While the statistics and expert insights are optimistic, millennial marriages are not without challenges. According to Norén, the fast-paced nature of modern life can take a toll on relationships.
"Everything is so fast nowadays, and we're expected to be and do everything: keep the perfect home, stay up to date on fashion and beauty trends, have a great sex life, lots of close friendships, have a thriving career, and kids, to boot. Put simply; it's a lot!"
And while social media is helpful for knowledge and communication, it can be a double-edged sword when considering these high standards.
Moody encouraged millennial couples to balance the demands of modern life with more emotional intimacy, lightheartedness and "play"—something that can be achieved through shared hobbies, regular date nights and dedicated time to reminisce on the relationship.
A Brighter Outlook
Despite these challenges, millennial marriages are thriving in many ways. Experts like Norén and Moody agree that millennials' openness to therapy and emphasis on communication have contributed to healthier, more adaptable relationships.
Therapy, according to Moody, is no longer a last resort but a tool many millennial couples proactively use to strengthen their bonds.
The active effort it takes to maintain a relationship, including the cultivation of language to better understand each other and the willingness to take on taboo topics, seems to be part of the special sauce for millennials.
As one Redditor attests: "[Husband] and I started dating in 2012, married in 2015, kid in 2021, about to hit those ten years of married life. We are friends who happen to really love each other. It takes work. We both come from divorce, so we knew we both had to find someone we wanted to do the hard work with."
For millennials, that hard work seems to be paying off—with happier, more stable marriages that defy the myth of marital doom.
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