Man Backed for Insisting on Showing 'Son' Paternity Test

The internet has backed a man who insisted on showing his "son" the paternity test results after the son put mean posts on social media about him.

In a now-deleted post published to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a Reddit user posed the question "WIBTA for telling my ex's child that he isn't mine?" for the AITA community to decide if he would be in the wrong. The post had over 7,000 upvotes and 700 comments.

The Redditor began by explaining that 17 years ago, he was dating a woman, "Allie." Allie had an affair and two months later, had a son, "Damien." The original poster (OP) took a paternity test and found out Damien wasn't his. He left the relationship, calling it "the most miserable time" of his life.

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Man worried about showing paternity test
The internet has defended a man on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum for insisting on showing "son" paternity test results. fizkes/iStock / Getty Images Plus

Almost two decades later, OP has a wife and three kids. He reveals that he has no contact with Allie or Damien. Every so often, Allie would reach out and ask for money or see if OP wanted to see Damien, but OP ended up blocking her.

He wrote, "Some old friends also informed me that Damien would post nasty things on social media about his dad who left him when he was born. I never took the bait until he reached out to me himself. He sent me a multi paragraph message on FB calling me an [a**hole] for ditching 'my real wife' (Allie and I never married) for a do-over family and that I should be supporting them, and a bunch of other s**t."

"Some parts really stood out though, things like 'You need to be supporting your REAL son' and 'How do you think it feels when I have to tell people that my own father abandoned me the minute I was born? How could you abandon your own flesh and blood and get re-married like it was nothin while my mom and I grew up poor?' Among other things." he continued.

When telling his wife the story, they both agreed that Damien doesn't know that the OP is not his biological father.

OP has the plan to tell Damien carefully that he is not his father and what happened between OP and his mother. However, OP's wife doesn't think it's a good idea as it could be "cruel" and just not respond. OP believes that leaving him believing the wrong thing is cruel as well.

OP got a copy of the paternity test and insisted to Allie that "the truth must come out and the lies about my character must be stopped." He gave her a limited amount of time before he sends the test to Damien himself. Later on, Damien sent the OP an apology, and all the mean comments about OP have been deleted.

Redditors were quick to defend the OP in the comment section,

u/Thin-Manufacturer892 gave the OP some advice in a top comment with over 17,000 upvotes, "Maybe he doesn't need the details of his mother? Maybe just the facts, in a really kind way, like 'hi I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I don't want you to feel any further rejection by me ignoring you, so I'll share with you the truth. Me and your mom were never married, and when I took a paternity test it came back negative. I am sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. I'm not sure who your father is but it isn't me. I wish the best for you.'"

"[Not the A**hole]. It won't be an easy thing for him to hear, but I think its a necessary one. Clearly his mom has been manipulating him in to blaming you for all their troubles in life, so he should know sooner rather than later that his mother is toxic. And I think it's more cruel to not tell him and let him think his 'dad' (you) abandoned him rather than the truth," u/MetalHead_Literally said.

U/PurpleMarsAlien wrote, "[Not the A**hole]. If you simply inform him of the details here--that you and his mother were not married, and that you took a paternity test that demonstrated that you were not his father."

"I wouldn't get into the emotional aspect, because all that will do is give him more to react to, when the factual aspects are going to be quite a bit if Allie has been lying to him his entire life. If he ever reaches out again, you can get into the emotional aspects but it's likely he will not," they continued.

"[Not the A**hole]. Kid has to find out sooner or later. Shame on his mother to lying to him for so long," u/thekelsey21 exclaimed.