Man Backed for Leaving Date 'Stranded': 'I Felt Like a Third Wheel'

The internet has supported a man's decision after leaving his date "stranded" after he "felt like the third wheel."

Published on Reddit's r/AmITheA****** forum, a man under the anonymous username u/throwoutit shared his story to let the "AITA" community decide if he was in the wrong.

The original poster (OP) began his story by explaining that he recently went out on a date with "Mandy," a girl he'd met a few times, through his friend's girlfriend, "Sara." He thought she was "nice" and "fun to talk to" so he asked her out to a sports bar to watch a football game, since she was into watching the sport.

He explained where the date went wrong, "We got to the bar and Mandy said that her friend was there sitting at a table with some other people. She went and said hi, we sat at the bar and ate. Then she asked if it was cool if we went and sat by them. I didn't really want to but agreed."

Man feeling like "third wheel" on date
Above, a man feels left out of a conversation. Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA****** forum, a man has been defended for leaving his first date "stranded." fizkes/iStock / Getty Images Plus

"We went over there and she introduced me. That was basically it, from then on I felt like a 3rd wheel. I tried to talk about football with some of the other people but they didn't watch sports. I tried starting a conversation about other stuff with one of the guys and it didn't seem like it was going anywhere. So I sat and watched the game while Mandy talked to her friends," he continued.

He told Mandy that he would be leaving after the game was over, but she encouraged him to have a few more drinks, so he stayed. He explained that her friends bought shots for everyone but him, which he understood because they didn't know him and he was the designated driver to get Mandy home.

He told Mandy he wanted to leave because he had work the following morning. Mandy said that she wasn't finished with her drink and asked him to wait until she was finished to leave.

After a while, she continued to leave the OP to play darts and go outside with her friends, not finishing her drink. He told her again that he was leaving, but she ignored him. He decided to leave without her.

"Yesterday after work," the OP explained, "Sara called and yelled at me about leaving Mandy stranded. She said when you drive someone somewhere you take them home too, that she didn't know I was such a jacka** to leave a girl at a bar alone, that Mandy didn't even know I left til she seen my jacket was gone, and apparently Mandy had to Lyft home and I 'should reimburse her.'"

Sara argued that he should have had fun with them instead of "sitting around moping."

In his conclusion, he defended himself by saying that he tried to join in conversations but it wasn't working, how Mandy wasn't alone as she was with her friends and that he didn't want to sit around all night "bored."

Newsweek has reached out to u/throwoutit for comment. We could not verify the details of this case.

Newsweek has written several articles on relationship tips, including first-date red flags that should never be ignored, a therapist discussing four signs that your relationship isn't working and some online dating red flags you should heed.

Feeling like a 'third wheel' in a relationship

Jaime Bronstein, licensed relationship therapist and author of MAN*ifesting, spoke to Newsweek about what to do if someone feels like they're a "third wheel" in a relationship.

"Verbalize how you feel," Bronstein suggested. "I recommend waiting until after you have left the 'third wheel' scenario to point out that you didn't appreciate your partner's lack of attentiveness while they were around other people."

She also suggested keeping busy by finding another group of people to talk to if your partner isn't paying attention to you.

If things aren't changing after you've confronted your partner, Bronstein suggested to Newsweek readers to consider ending the relationship.

"If your partner consistently makes you feel insecure in a group setting after you have expressed how you feel, and they continue to de-prioritize you when around other people, consider finding someone more thoughtful of you and your feelings. Someone who constantly makes their partner feel insecure lacks empathy and is probably insecure themselves," she said.

Redditor reactions

"[Not the a******]. You told her a couple times that you were leaving and offered her a ride. If she wanted a ride, she need to wrap it up and head out with you when you left. She did not do that," u/corgwin wrote, receiving the top comment of over 19,000 upvotes.

"It's not just that... Mandy was being incredibly rude on what was clearly a date. OP hung around way longer than he needed to. He didn't owe her anything at that point, and went above and beyond by waiting several times," u/ketita responded to the comment above.

"[Not the a******You gave Mandy several chances to get a ride home with you, she made her choices and got the consequences of those choices," u/dublos reacted.

U/Forward_Squirrel8879 said, "[Not the a******] - You didn't leave her at a bar alone, you left her with a large group of her friends. You told her multiple times that you were ready to leave and she basically blew you off."

"[Not the a******]. She ruined the date herself by ignoring her date," u/No-Personality5421 commented.

Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.