Man Blasted for Buying Surrogate $9K Car Because He is 'Obsessed' With Her

A post has gone viral on Reddit after a woman shared her husband's "strange" behavior toward the couple's surrogate.

Redditor u/Throwawayhunter37 wrote about the awkward dynamic in a post to the subreddit "Am I The As**ole" that has received over 13,000 votes in less than 10 hours.

The Redditor explained that she and her husband recently decided to get a surrogate after struggling with fertility issues. She writes that the surrogate is a friend of a friend who is "kind" and "respectful" and is keeping up her end of the contract.

Her husband Hunter, though, has started paying the woman ample amounts of unwanted attention including visits to her home, bringing her gifts and speaking with her consistently over social media. After the surrogate complained to the Redditor, she tried to speak with her husband who said everything he was doing he was doing for his son—not her.

"...still I asked that he tone it down and respect the woman's space," she wrote. "He got mad at me and accused me of being jealous of the woman who's carrying my own child and said that this makes me look bad."

According to Simple Surrogacy, a surrogacy and egg donation agency, the relationship between a surrogate and the "intended parents" is "like no other." Though surrogates can understand and "respect" parents desire to be involved in a pregnancy, it's important to respect boundaries.

"Too many inquiries, especially during 'off hours,' can be seen as an invasion of privacy," according to the agency's website. It goes on to say that sharing opinions on specific lifestyle choices like diet and exercise routines can be seen as an overstep.

The Redditor wrote that after the confrontation with her husband over his behavior, he seemed upset so she gave him time to "cool down."

Fast forward to this week where the Redditor said their surrogate called her to inform her that Hunter had shown up to her home, asked her guests to leave, and then showed her the $9,000 car he had purchased for her.

"I was shocked, she said she declined the car and asked him to leave but he started arguing with her about using public transportation and risking our baby's wellbeing," the Redditor wrote.

The Redditor says she was "fuming."

"Once he got back I picked up a fight with him and yelled at him saying that he's been nothing but overstepping, disrespectful, and inappropriate towards our surrogate, again he explained the car wasn't for her but to ensure that the baby is safe," she wrote. "I told him to stop disrespecting the woman and stop using the baby as an excuse to stomp all over her boundaries."

Commenters backed the woman and slammed her husband for his "obsessive" behavior.

"NTA. He's actually endangering the successful arrival of your son because he's not only causing stress to your surrogate, he's also making her so uncomfortable that she might seek legal recourse to break the contact...,"one commenter wrote.

"He should focus this crazed energy on being a better example for his son instead of obsessively micro managing and boundary stomping everyone else. He sounds unwell and very much like the only actual threat to your child's well-being..," wrote another.

Another person pointed out that the Redditor calling her husband out for the car surprise was not in fact "picking a fight," as she referred to it in her post.

Pregnancy, surrogate
A post has gone viral on Reddit after a woman shared her husband's "strange" behavior toward the surrogate carrying their child. Above, a stock image shows a woman touching another woman's pregnant belly. JLco - Julia Amaral/Getty Images

"...Your language in this post points to someone who is used to walking on eggshells not to anger an explosive person," the commenter wrote. "You asked about a nine thousand dollar car, after both you and the surrogate expressed discomfort. That isn't picking a fight, but the fact that you use that language is a bit concerning. Is that what he says to you?"

Toward the end of her post, the Redditor writes that her husband went as far as to accuse his wife of not loving their son "as much" as he does. She said after their argument he left the house and when he returned "refused to speak" to her.

One Redditor predicts that his behavior will be projected onto his wife once the baby is born.

"...OP, is this who you want to raise a child with. I doubt he'll treat you any different than the surrogate. He will control everything surrounding you and the child."

Newsweek contacted u/Throwawayhunter37 for comment, but she did not respond in time for publication.