Man Branded as an 'Incel' Slammed for Texts to Brother's Partner: 'Creepy'

A man, who has been dubbed an alleged "incel," is being bashed online after he hit on his brother's romantic partner through flirty messages on social media.

The viral Reddit post recounting the situation, titled, "AITA for telling my brother that his looks aren't the reason women run from him," has been upvoted 13,800 times since it was shared on May 18 by Redditor @AITA_05155. The post was shared in the subreddit "Am I The A**hole," and people aren't holding back with their denouncement of the man's actions.

An incel is a person who is usually male and involuntarily celibate, according to Merriam-Webster. They're a part of an online group who harbor resentment toward those who are sexually active, in particular with a misogynistic and hateful view of women.

In a poll conducted by moderators for, which is an incel forum, a few hundred people replied to questions, according to ADL. About 55 percent of respondents were Caucasian. However, 45 percent were from various ethnic and racial groups. Almost 43 percent of people who participated were from Europe, while 38 percent were from North America. All respondents were men as well.

A total of 84 percent of people claimed to have never been in a relationship, while 16 percent said they had.

The original poster (OP) is a 22-year-old male with older siblings, including an older brother named Sebastian who is 37. The Redditor revealed he doesn't really talk with Sebastian, who claims the reason that people and women "reject" him is because of his looks.

"I mean he's okay, a little bald, a little overweight, but also very very grumpy and noisy," the OP said of his brother. He also revealed Sebastian thinks the OP and their brother Jake are "stupid" for how they "look," adding, "he really doesn't have another reason, Jake has a Ph.D., and I'm top of my classes, but we're stupid because [of] muscles." The OP said he "took after" his older brother Jake, who is interested in sports.

The OP revealed he's been "laughing" at his brother's "disrespect" as well as resentment for years despite him wanting a relationship with him.

The Redditor went on to reveal they were in an open relationship with a man and a woman, adding he doesn't "want anything serious" in his 20s, and a few months ago, the woman had to pick the OP up from his parents' house, so he introduced her to the family.

The following day, she told the OP that Sebastian had sent her "the most unf**kable messages" on Facebook she had ever received.

The OP continued: "I read it and it was something...He called her beautiful, he said he knew we weren't serious or official and asked her on a date. Twenty minutes later he asked if she was there, 10 minutes later he asked her not to show me the text, and 10 minutes later he spent the next 20 minutes insulting her until she blocked him. We agreed to not tell him anything because she said she didn't care, and that was all."

However, the OP chose to break up with the couple and moved back in with his parents until he found another apartment. However, Sebastian lives there as well, and when the OP came through the door to the house, his brother laughed at him, calling him a "Kicked out Chad," adding that even when he looks "like a little Jake" he still gets broken up with and now he knows "how he feels when people reject him for his looks." But he mentioned "it's better" for the OP as his "looks are the f**kboy stereotype."

"And I just rolled my eyes and said that his looks aren't the reason women run from him, but rather his creepy personality, and to remember the texts he sent to [my ex] a few months ago," the OP concluded. "He got red in the face, and my mom said that I was rude because Sebastian is already having a bad time being his age and living at home."

In a comment to another Redditor, the OP said he told his brother Jake about what happened with his ex, and he mentioned he noticed the "weird behavior" as he tried it with his partners before as well. However, he stopped that behavior when Jake "gave him s**t."

Jake mentioned he would speak to him again, and the OP added: "I'll join him so we can talk to Sebastian. I don't think my brother is really dangerous, but I also thought he had an amazing love life, so I might not be the most reliable person. I'll get involved either way."

Man in the park
A man branded an alleged "incel" is being slammed for texts to his brother's partner. Here, a man in the park with a smile on his face. MONKEYBUSINESSIMAGES/GETTY

Over 1,000 comments poured in, and people believed the OP wasn't the one at fault here, and many compared Sebastian to an incel.

"The fact [that] he called OP a 'Chad' makes me think he's already crossed over into incel territory," a Redditor reasoned. A Chad is often a sexually active man with a muscular build considered an "alpha" in the incel community.

Another Redditor is "sorry" that the relationship between the OP and Sebastian isn't working, but they added he wasn't at fault. "He's sounding like a major incel-type though, so honestly don't feel too bad about it," they wrote.

One user thought the OP was within his right to call his brother out, and they admit that Sebastian "sounds like a miserable fellow to be around! I'm sorry, but he doesn't sound like a nice person at all. If he talks to all women like that, I'm sure that's one of the many reasons women don't talk to him."

A Redditor didn't mince words, saying the OP's brother is "giving off serial killer vibes at this stage." They added that he's an incel, and that as a "woman who's been on the receiving end of the messages Sebastian sent, they are literally a form of harassment and really [f**king] scary to receive. Someone needed to point that out to him because he's almost 40."

Some people pointed out potential dangers, and one such Redditor said if the OP's brother is able to send messages like that to a person dating their brother just imagine "what he's sending other women. He's displaying a dangerous attitude towards women that can quickly turn into dangerous actions towards women."

Another user straight up told the OP his brother "is dangerous to women," saying he "harasses them when they don't act the way he wants, because he thinks women owe him something."

One user thought Sebastian "sounds like a real charmer," adding, "Real talk though, how do people get to that age and not figure out that their behavior is a turn-off for friends, family, and potential romantic partners alike?"

Another Redditor weighed in that any person who asks a woman out that their sibling is in a relationship with is the a**hole. "Also, [a] 20+ year age difference adds to the creepy. Maybe if you quit hitting on women young enough to be your daughter? Dude is gonna die alone."

Newsweek reached out to Redditor @AITA_05155 for comment.

This isn't the only viral post involving siblings. A woman was slammed for wanting breast milk from her sister. A teen was supported for demanding to use her brother's possessions when needed. A man was backed for excluding his step-siblings from a trip.