Man Criticized for Not Supporting Bisexual Wife by Attending Pride Event

A man was slammed online after he said he refused to attend a pride event with his wife who identifies as bisexual.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/Kejryehe, posted about the situation in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 7,000 upvotes and 4,400 comments, with many calling the man out for his bisexual erasure. The post can be found here.

Bisexual Erasure

Bisexual erasure is defined by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) as when the "existence or legitimacy of bisexuality (either in general or in regard to an individual) is questioned or denied outright."

Individuals identifying as bisexual often suffer higher rates of anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders compared to their gay, lesbian, and heterosexual peers. Bisexual individuals often have a higher rate of tobacco use and risk of heart disease than their peers.

Man slammed for not "supporting" bisexual wife
Commenters criticized the man for not being supportive of his wife's identity by not attending the event with her. Ridofranz/iStock

According to the Bisexual Resource Center (BRC), bisexual individuals face poor mental health outcomes due to biphobia and bi erasure, often feeling lumped into "gay" or "straight" categories and making their identities feel "invisibilized or ignored altogether."

"Even when our identities are acknowledged, they can often be fetishized or judged in negative ways," the BRC wrote.

'AITA?'

In the now-deleted post titled "AITA for refusing to go to a pride event with my wife?" the 30-year-old man said he is married to a bisexual woman, 28.

"I'll preface by saying that I am in no way homophobic or bigoted," the post read. "I've never had a problem with my wife's identity itself. The thing is, she is very vocal and showy about it. She has a lot of pride things and clothes and whatnot."

The man said that she often wears rainbow patterns rather than bisexual colors, so there have been "incidents" when people don't know he is her husband and "think she's just gay."

"It honestly gets a little exhausting," the post read. "She says that she doesn't like it when people assume she's straight just because she married a man and doesn't want a big part of her identity that she's struggled with to be erased. Still it feels like she's almost ashamed of me."

Recently, the man's wife invited him to a pride event that she said was really important to her, adding that she bought him an ally t-shirt to wear.

He said that he has no issues with his wife attending the event but that he told her no because it isn't his "thing," but she said it doesn't feel that he is supportive of her identity.

"I replied that maybe she needs to focus less on her identity and more on her current relationship," the post read. "She's been very icy with me since. I get that I probably was a bit mean but still. AITA?"

Redditor Reactions

More than 4,400 users commented on the post, many calling out the man for his "homophobic" comments and for not being "supportive" of his wife.

"If she was ashamed of you, she wouldn't be asking you to come with," one user commented. "If anything it sounds like YOU'RE ashamed of HER and want her to bury her identity away. Support your wife. YTA."

"She literally invited you to a very public event as her spouse and ally. This is who she is. This is the woman you married. Yes, you should go with her and YTA," another user commented. "If you are feeling unappreciated or left out of this relationship, maybe some couples counseling is in order."

"'I'll preface by saying that I am in no way homophobic or bigoted.' Wait for it...'The thing is, she is very vocal and showy about it.' Aaand here is the homophobic comment," another commented. "OP, you are clearly bothered by your wife's activism, even when it's an important part of her personality and so important to her. YTA."

"Just from what you mentioned, I can tell you clearly aren't supportive of her identity," one user wrote. "You sound irked by her being proud of her identity. Her being validly upset about bi erasure has nothing to do with you and it's nothing for you to feel ashamed about. It's about other people invalidating her and being biphobic to her."

Newsweek reached out to u/Kejryehe for comment.

Other Viral Posts

In other viral posts from Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum, a teen was backed for refusing to meet her dad's "affair baby" and another teen was slammed for selling his brother's Pokémon cards without permission.

In another post, a woman was criticized for wanting to "rehome" her two adopted daughters to strangers on Facebook.