Man Dragged for Defending Friend's 'Insensitive' Jab At Pregnant Fiancée

Members of a popular internet forum were appalled after one expecting mother recounted the disgusting joke her fiancé's best friend told at a recent family gathering.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Throwra90678 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she recently found out she was pregnant but explained how the friend's "flawed personality" ruined her announcement of the special news.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for disinviting my fiancé's best friend from the wedding after he told my fiancé to get a paternity test?" the post has received nearly 10,000 votes and 1,400 comments in the last day.

Writing that her fiancé's best friend (called Jason) is the "brutally honest type," the original poster said she has become one of his favorite targets, and that he often makes "backhanded comments" about her past as a sex worker. Adding that her fiancé brushes off the insults and expects her to do the same, the original poster said she was promised the friend would "behave" at the couple's wedding.

Unfortunately, Jason didn't wait until the wedding to step out of line.

"My fiancé and I found out that we're expecting," OP wrote. "We visited my future [in-laws] to make the announcement and Jason was already there."

"After dinner my fiancé and I stood up and made the announcement. Everyone rushed to congratulate us except for Jason who sat still and admittedly kept looking me in the eyes in a [strange] way," OP continued. "I avoided him but then he got up, hugged my fiancé then looked at him and said '3 words man.....paternity test pronto.'"

Noting that everyone in the room was shocked by Jason's comment, the original poster said multiple parties attempted to diffuse the situation, but assured that she handled her fiancé's best friend in the only appropriate manner.

"I walked up to Jason and asked him to repeat what he said. He tried to back off because my face was inches away from his," OP wrote. "I went off on Jason, called him an insensitive a**hole and that he was officially uninvited from the wedding after he accused me of being unfaithful."

"Jason shouted some stuff...that he meant no harm then left in a hurry," OP continued. "My fiancé and his mom agreed with me being upset but said that uninviting him from the wedding was me going too far."

"My fiancé said that Jason was just joking and I blew up over nothing," OP added. "He still thought I was overreacting after I told him how I felt about his friend ruining my joy and humiliating me [in front] of my [in-laws.]"

Like disrespect between romantic partners is almost guaranteed to poison any relationship, disrespect from a partner's friend is sure to have the same effect—especially when that behavior is overlooked.

Despite the expert opinion provided via WebMD that "acceptance" is the best way to deal with a partner's sexist and demeaning friends, allowing a friend to blatantly disrespect a romantic partner is a major red flag, and should not be taken lightly.

In 2017, lifestyle website Madame Noire directly addressed the issue of a partner's crass friends, and offered advice for what to do when that same partner refuses to put a stop to the disrespect.

"When it comes to handling friends of your partner who can't seem to show you much respect, I say nip it in the bud," Madame Noire writer Victoria Uwumarogie asserted. "While we'd love for our significant others to swoop in and rescue us from crappy people they've befriended, we have to be ready to draw a line on our own."

"At the end of the day, that's your partner's friend—they don't need to be yours," Uwumarogie added. "They don't have to like you, but it's going to be uncomfortable for everyone if they don't learn to respect you."

Woman shocked at man's comments at dinner
Members of Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum were quick to defend one expecting mother who was subjected to heinous insults by her fiancé's best friend. JackF/iStock / Getty Images Plus

However, while universal discomfort is one response to disrespect from a partner's friend, the original poster made it clear that her fiancés best friend has made her uncomfortable for quite some time.

After being targeted by such a heinous joke—during what was supposed to be a joyous moment—dealing with discomfort was not an option. But banning her husband's best friend from any other joyous moments—like the couple's wedding—was.

Throughout the viral post's comment section, Redditors applauded the original poster for putting her fiancé's best friend in his place, while also turning attention to her fiancé himself.

"[Not the a**hole]," Redditor u/ForgottenTroll wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 16,000 votes. "Jason wasn't 'telling it like it is.' He was being friggin' insulting."

"You absolutely were within your rights to confront him, and confront him hard," they continued. "Accusing you of cheating? No. Not acceptable."

"This dude has zero respect for OP, for his friend's relationship/marriage, and feels totally comfortable to say some abhorrent things about and in front of OP because clearly [her] fiancé doesn't see much wrong with it," Redditor u/Youcannotbeforreal2 added, receiving more than 6,000 votes. "Clearly Jason being allowed to say whatever in f**k inappropriate horse s**t he wants is more important [than] OP being treated with respect."

Redditor u/BriefHorror, whose comment has received nearly 7,500 votes, echoed that sentiment.

"I know so many men who would never tolerate any of the disrespect your fiancé has put you through," they wrote. "He can either step up and be a partner who doesn't let the people in his life treat you as less or he can go."

"Exactly right," Redditor u/Lennox120520 chimed in. "And what 'brutal honesty will he bestowing on this child? What backhanded s**t about it's mother with this vile a**hole be saying to this kid for the next 18 years?"

"With dad laughing right along, no less," they added.

In a separate comment, which has received nearly 2,000 votes, Redditor u/MamanBear79 hammered home a point made by many other commenters.

"It's not a friend problem, it's a fiancé problem," they wrote. "You should NEVER have been put in that position. Where was your fiancé and father of your unborn child when his friend insulted you?"

"Your fiancé is actually the one in the wrong here. I don't care what history they have," they continued. "He has a duty to protect you from this [a**hole], and should have been the one to tell his friend he was completely out of line."