Man Hiding 'Beautiful' Girlfriend's Second Job in Front of Friend Backed
A boyfriend has asked if he is the a****** for intentionally not telling his friends that his girlfriend is a cheerleader.
In the post, user ConsciousPollution23 begins by saying: "If I were a shallow person I would say I hit the jackpot. I 100% hit the jackpot but not for the reason you might think."
He explains that whenever he mentions his girlfriend Claire, he brings up her work: "She studied child psychology and is working on her Master's," he says. "See, smart. I love bragging all about how she is making the world a better place."
He goes on to explain that at a recent party his friend joked about his girlfriend being able to make money as a model and talked continuously about her looks, saying she "would be able to make more money as a model or something."
The OP explains that eventually his girlfriend revealed to his friend that she works as a cheerleader for a sports team and that "she only auditioned for the professional squad because they do a lot of work with children's charities. She said that she was tired of people like him thinking all she had to offer was her looks. He got embarrassed and left."
The friend called shortly afterwards and was angry with the OP for not telling him about the cheerleading. "I said I'm not. I'm dating Claire, a woman who is in her way to being a child psychologist...So he's pissed at me for not telling him. He's upset with her for telling him so publicly. I think he was behaving like an a** and should have dropped it when I said so."
Newsweek spoke to New York based psychotherapist Jack Hazan about whether the OP was right to withhold his girlfriend's profession.
"When referring to sharing your partner's profession to others, one reason not to share is that it's no one else's business what your partner does. If your partner says to you that it's okay to share what they do, or your partner volunteers the information, then it's not an issue. However, if there is a sense of embarrassment around your partner's profession or you're afraid of making others uncomfortable by sharing their job, this may be a reason to withhold it from others.
"In this case, it seems to be that her cheerleading is more of a hobby, which may be the reason he didn't mention it to start with. Yes she gets paid for it, but she indicated she does cheerleading for fun. Her job is working on her Master's and studying to be a child psychologist.
"It could be that he is putting her on a pedestal. Since the guy makes it seem that everything his partner is doing is wonderful, he may not have a lot of confidence in what he does. But at the same time, he may just really think what his partner does is great. Having admiration for your partner is one thing. However, continuously pointing out only a few aspects of a person over and over again can get old.
"One of the dangerous things about putting your partner on a pedestal is that it creates an idea of who is superior and who isn't in the relationship. A healthy relationship should mean that each person in it is equal. By not viewing yourselves on the same playing level creates a sense of not being able to truly connect with the other. Another negative is that by having them on that pedestal sets yourself up for disappointment if they don't meet your expectations. It doesn't allow the person to be human and make mistakes."
Newsweek has reached out to ConsciousPollution23 for comment.
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