Man Slammed for Keeping Money Gifted at Wife's Baby Shower: 'Disgraceful'

A man has been slammed as "disgraceful" after admitting he planned to take all the money gifted to him and his wife at their baby shower.

The dad-to-be shared his situation to Reddit's Am I The A**hole forum, under username Engorgedclips, where he explained his wife is due in May.

The 29-year-old wanted to throw a lavish baby shower for his wife, 24, who preferred a smaller, and less expensive, party.

But he stuck to his guns and hired a venue for $2,500, saying: "I wanted to make a big deal of this to make my wife feel special."

After shelling out for the party his account was empty, as he continued: "My wife wanted something smaller initially but I wanted to do the co ed thing and invite my friends and family too. After paying for the place, my account was depleted and I won't be paid again for 2 weeks.

"So I took all the cash we were given in cards and deposited into my account. We ended up getting about $1,600, so I only ended up paying less than $1,000 for the shower."

Difference of Opinion

He claimed while he probably should have planned ahead a bit better, he felt his wife was being "ungrateful."

"My wife is upset about this because she feels as if the money should be used for more baby things and not to "pay myself back," as she put it. I told her I can't just have $0 in my account for 2 weeks, and she said I should have thought of that before booking such a big space for the shower instead of doing something smaller like she originally wanted.

"She's also upset because a majority of the money came from her family. I honestly just assumed any money we got was going into paying for the shower, and she assumed it would be for whatever else we didn't get on our registry," he said.

Although he added: "I will probably use the money on baby stuff anyway, however I need gas and food money as well."

According to website Children.costhelper.com, a baby shower can typically cost between $100 and $1,000, depending on the number of guests, which it said is usually 15 to 40.

My WEDDING venue was less than $2500 to rent
TopRamenisha

It noted: "Many baby showers are held in a home with finger foods provided by the host or hostess."

Other things to factor in are the cost of invitations, food, decoration, venue hire, games and activities.

The Reddit post, entitled: "AITA for keeping all the money from mine and my wife's baby shower?" has since amassed more than 10,000 upvotes since being posted on Tuesday.

Velvetalocasia wrote: "That was my first thought! That guy has no business having a baby, he can't even plan a party without going broke."

Delkarnu wrote: "$2,500 is both a very large amount of money to spend on a party and a very small amount of money to have in the bank with a baby on the way. Especially if the wife was working while the 2500 was being saved and they'll lose that second income for a while when the baby comes."

Aabbccbb commented: "Yup. And he went with a bigger venue so that his friends could come... and most of the money came from her side. AKA, he threw himself a party with OP's baby money."

Beckdawg19 wrote: "I think most of the baby showers I've been to have been at a venue, but they've all been cheap ones like parks or casual restaurants. We paid $50 for my sister's venue. $2500 is absurd."

TopRamenisha revealed: "My WEDDING venue was less than $2500 to rent."

DancinginHyrule pointed out: "Your wife is absolutely right. And it must be frightening to be one month due with a man who spent 2500 on a party, knowing he technically could not feed his family for the next two weeks. YTA, what on earth where you thinking? What if no one had given money? Then what?"

Toss_it_out_tomorrow thought: "Kind of gives some insight to how badly this kid is going to go without throughout life. OP is impulsive and irresponsible on top of being thoughtless, inconsiderate, and now self centered. OP you are a disgraceful AH. YTA."

In response to the backlash, the dad added a number of lengthy updates, and it seems in the end he admitted he made a "rash and impulsive decision because I wanted everyone to see that I could provide for my family."

He added: "My decision to have a lavish shower was based on insecurity more than anything and I was wrong for that...

"I didn't even think about the fact that the money is for the baby and didn't consider putting it in a savings for him but I like that idea. I have never been to a baby shower so I didn't know any better.

"Those of you who said I should suffer the next couple weeks are right. I will give the money to my wife and let her decide what should be done with it."

Newsweek reached out to Engorgedclips for comment.

File photo of money and invitation.
File photos of money and an invitation. A dad-to-be has been slammed for saying he was going to keep all the gifted money at his wife's baby shower. OlyaSolodenko / Devina Permata/Getty Images