Man's Response To Finding Girlfriend With Ex Applauded: 'Disrespectful'

A newly single man has been applauded for breaking up with his girlfriend after she invited her ex over to his apartment while he was out.

The decision came after he took to Reddit to describe how he was left "absolutely livid" after returning home from the gym to find his partner, Lilly, "chilling with her ex" Kyle on his couch.

Writing under the handle Leading-Sir8714, he explained that Lilly had mentioned she was having a friend over to the apartment but had not said he was an ex. Despite Kyle insisting they were just "reminiscing on the good ole days," Lilly's boyfriend asked him to leave. Kyle was initially hesitant to go though. With tensions running high, Lilly intervened, telling Kyle "he needs to leave."

An upset couple and another man.
Stock images of an upset couple and another man - a man ended things with his girfriend after she invited an ex over to his apartment while he was out. Goran13/ Ridofranz/Getty

Though Kyle did eventually back down and go, an argument soon erupted, with Lilly claiming her boyfriend "embarrassed her" with his response. She insisted nothing untoward had happened and Kyle was merely seeking advice.

He refused to back down though, telling her if the roles were reversed and his "ex started having issues," she would not have been happy with the idea of him being the one "comforting" her.

It's a familiar promise born out of many a breakup; though your romantic relationship may be over, you still want to remain friends.

Yet the idea of actually remaining friends with an ex is a divisive one. In a 2022 YouGov poll of 1,000 Americans, 17 percent of respondents claimed they were friends with all of their exes.

A further 37 percent said they remained friends with some but not others. However, 44 percent of those polled said they were not friends with any of them.

Yet the idea that former partners can stay on friendly, platonic terms was something that the boyfriend in this particular post openly dismissed.

"It's a huge red flag for me that she said 'old friend' instead of ex," he wrote.

'In Harm's Way'

He wasn't alone in that respect either. After Lilly stormed out following their initial argument, the man called his dad for advice. After detailing the situation, his dad was quick to note that, when things escalated, Lilly asked Kyle to leave.

"When a woman cares for someone the last thing she wants is for him to be in harm's way," he told him. "She understood exactly what was going to happen if the situation continued to escalate, and she chose to get Kyle out of harm's way."

He added: "Honestly son, where do you think she's at right now?"

The implication was clear, with the dad telling him not to do anything "irrational" while describing the situation as a "bump in the road" on his journey to finding the one.

He asked Lilly to come over to his apartment and told her "it's over." Lilly pleaded with him, but he told her things ended "when invited your ex into my apartment behind my f****** back."

Though the breakup left him upset, he remained adamant he had done the right thing. "I wouldn't have been able to trust her again," he wrote. "You can't be in a relationship without trust or loyalty. I lost both from her."

'Something Was Up'

Commenting on the dilemma, Robin Sutherns, a relationship expert and editor at Mantelligence, said the man was within his rights to be angry.

"Meeting an ex to catch up and talk can be completely harmless if both parties are aware of it and consent," Sutherns told Newsweek. "In this situation, neither conditions were considered."

Sutherns noted that the fact Lilly kept the meeting a secret was damning. "If your partner cares for you, they shouldn't hide that they're going to meet up with an ex. You'd know something was up if they kept it a secret," she said.

The relationship expert added: "If they are speaking about personal lives and asking intimate questions, it would seem they aren't quite ready to let go of each other."

While some may believe you can still be friends with an ex, Sutherns is not one of them. "You're not going to be fully emotionally available to your current partner if there's a past love still in your life," she said. "I understand that you may have a common circle of friends, which makes ignoring each other impossible, but you don't need to still have a connection just between the two of you."

Those commenting on social media were similarly supportive of the man's decision while also praising his dad's advice. "You made the right decision," Water8aq wrote. "You gotta put yourself first." Fun-statistician-550 added: "There's no love without trust. When someone shows you who they are, believe them!"

While Abelard25 wrote: "That ex is so disrespectful!"

Trollslayer-765, meanwhile, commented: "Your pops is a wise man, sucks now, but like he said, the best thing will walk into your life when you're not looking for it."

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