Man's Reason for Branding Girlfriend on Six-Figure Salary 'Cheap' Slammed
A man has been criticized online after branding his girlfriend, who's on a six-figure-salary, as cheap.
"My girlfriend makes six figures as a pharmacist and is still the cheapest person I know," the man wrote in a now-viral Reddit post.
He went on to reveal that the couple's different financial beliefs led to a clash, with him complaining that his partner is unreasonable in her frugality and "never wants to eat out" or "buy coffee." After growing frustrated, the man called his partner "cheap," which led to an argument.
According to the United States Census Bureau, the average household income in the U.S. was approximately $70,784 in 2021. Judging by these findings, the girlfriend's salary is well above average.
Irritated by his girlfriend's thrifty quirks, the man took to Reddit and in a post that can be seen here wrote: "She recently bought a new Toyota RAV4 and wanted the bars above to mount her skis. They quoted her $2,000 and she decided not to get it even though she really wanted it".
"She spent about 4 months drooling over a handbag that cost about $600. She uses a tattered bag from college and can't bring herself to buy [a new bag]. I bought it for her for Christmas, when I gave it to her she got mad at me for wasting my money," he continued.
The man went on to claim that to save money his girlfriend lugs her coffee maker kit around everywhere, instead of buying a coffee while traveling. He added that when the couple moved in together, she refused to buy furniture from Ikea, opting for cheaper alternatives on Facebook Marketplace instead.
"I'd rather get new things because it's just gross to use someone's leftovers," he wrote.
Their relationship came to a head earlier this month when the man wanted to take his girlfriend and brother out to a restaurant. The girlfriend slammed his offer, claiming that the pair should eat in and that they can just make Japanese curry at home.
The man detailed the argument: "I told her to stop being so cheap, we barely eat out anyway and if she doesn't want to pay I will. She got mad and accused me of being a d*** and has refused to talk to me since."
The post has attracted 2,600 comments, the majority of which slam the man for his comments, yet hold the girlfriend to account for her extreme stance on spending.
While the internet came to the conclusion that the man is in the wrong for calling his girlfriend "cheap," the post has still left the internet divided with many commenters also siding with the man.
"Your GF is being frugal, not cheap," one user wrote. "She isn't spending money on things she that she doesn't think are worth it. Believe it or not, this is how many wealthy people get to where they are."
A different user expressed some empathy for the man: "I would agree, but it sounds like she's being frugal to the extreme. I would be annoyed too."
Another user also chose to back the man: "How come it's not okay for the OP to call [his girlfriend] cheap for not spending money because she's just frugal, but it's okay for her to get mad at the OP for spending his own money how he sees fit?"
"She is absolutely cheap. The guy will never be able to fully enjoy life if he stays with her," wrote a different user.
How to Settle Financial Disputes in Relationships
Allison Konovalova, a licensed marriage psychotherapist and the owner of Mindtalk Healing LLC, told Newsweek: "Money is a triggering topic for many couples. Each person brings their own family history, has observed their parent's relationship with money, and has formed their own values over the years".
In regards to the couple's fight, Konovalova argues that the man calling his partner "cheap" and verbalizing his frustration in that way is not helpful.
"Initiating a conversation about why she's hesitant to spend money would help him better understand her position, perhaps she's saving for a big purchase," she said.
Konovalova advised that the couple compromise on putting aside a set amount of money each month for special occasions, to create meaningful memories together.
"It's important for couples to have goals, including financial goals," the psychotherapist added.
Chief Editor of The Mental Desk Amanda Phillips agrees with Konovalova and told Newsweek: "Couples can compromise and co-exist with different values and approaches by having open and honest communication about their needs and wants."
"It's important to understand and respect each other's perspective and to find a middle-ground that works for both parties. One way to do this is by setting shared financial goals and finding ways to balance saving and spending," she said.
The editor argues that the boyfriend's "cheap" comment was hurtful, and that he should have expressed his frustration in a more constructive and respectful way.
CEO of Charmed Life Coaching Morgana Rae adds: "In my experience, money issues are always love issues. We can see what we value by where we invest."
The relationship coach went on to tell Newsweek: "The boyfriend could be interpreting his girlfriend's financial priorities as a rejection of him, when in fact they simply relate to time differently: immediate gratification vs long-term goals".
Rae explained that relationships that fail typically have five to seven irreconcilable conflicts. However, that relationships that thrive and stay strong permanently also have five to seven irreconcilable conflicts. According to Rae, relationships co-exist with different values and approaches. The difference between a stable relationship and one that breaks down lies in how each party treats one another.
"The problem I see in this relationship is not the difference of values and approaches, but the the contempt and name calling," Rae said. "Rather than calling him or her wrong, I would suggest an empathy exercise in which partners can visit each others' values systems, see what they like and what they would leave, and come away with a better understanding of what's appealing in each world view."
Newsweek couldn't verify the details of this case.
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