'This Is About Control': Man Slammed for Demanding Wife Heat Up His Food

The internet has sided with a woman after her husband got mad at her for not heating up his dinner.

In a post shared on Sunday on the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, user throwawaySarah7 explained the story which has now received over 21,000 upvotes and thousands of comments.

Explaining the story, the Redditor wrote: "I'm a stay-at-home-mom with 2 kids aged 3 years and 6 months old. My husband is an ambulance driver, he works odd hours and comes home unexpectedly, he expects dinner or lunch ready whenever he gets home, whether I'm sleeping or busy with the kids. It's exhausting but I do it because I know how hard he works.

"After struggling with this for some time, my mom suggested that I start pre-making meals so that dinner and lunch can be ready when he's home, all he's got to do is reheat it. I immediately got to it, went grocery shopping, and spent an entire 2 days making meals and storing them in the fridge. His response to this idea is 'whatever,' so I was sort of relieved because now I can sleep properly and the kids' care won't be interrupted."

But the woman later revealed that the solution was not going as planned. She shared that when her husband had arrived home that evening, she woke up to him shouting her from the living room.

"I rush out to ask what was happening and he tells me he's hungry and wants dinner," she wrote: "I tell him it's in the fridge and just needs to be reheated and he didn't have to wake me up for it. He tells me I need to go and reheat it for him."

When the woman refused and told him to reheat his own meal, she says he got mad and told her she was "ridiculous to assume that after working non-stop for an entire shift he should be expected to do a chore (aka, reheat dinner himself)".

The poster said: "He comes in an hour later yelling about how I've basically made him almost pass out from hunger just because I'm petty and trying to prove a point. I tell him he's being unreasonable to expect me to reheat his dinner when he could do it himself. He gives me a nasty look then tells me he's going to be hungry and I'm responsible for this."

Shocked by the interaction, Reddit users have overwhelmingly sided with the woman and expressed disgust at the husband's behavior.

One reply said: "This is not about food. This is about control, this is about respect. This is not something you're going to be able to handle on your own, you and your husband need neutral professional assistance to navigate this discussion. The behavior your husband is demonstrating is absolutely atrocious, it is disrespectful and unloving."

Another user expressed concern, writing: "This is abuse. Please seek out support. Just because he isn't hitting you doesn't mean he is treating you appropriately. He is a full-grown adult, and he can make and heat his own food."

Women taking on more work in the home is no surprise, in fact, the gender gap in household chores and unpaid work still plays a huge part in daily family life in the U.S. and around the world.

A survey by the Pew Research Center in 2020 found that the majority of women (59 percent) say they do more household chores than their spouse or partner, while only six percent said that their partner does more.

Meanwhile, previous research sponsored by the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) found that 80 percent of women with children say they are the usual meal prepper and usual grocery shopper in the household.

One commenter suggested: "Tonight tell him to reheat last night's dinner first. You're a partner, not a servant. And he's treating you worse than a servant, they get time to sleep," the poster responded, and said: "I might do this, as a matter of fact, from now on out I might as well stop cooking for him altogether. But that's my petty side if he wants to see it then why not. I'm at my wits' end but he thinks I'm imposing unfair dynamics having him work then do chores—which I don't by the way."

In February, a woman was praised online for demanding a share of her husband's bonus as payment for the housework she does.

Newsweek has reached out to throwawaySarah7 for comment.

Anyone seeking help should call The National Domestic Violence Hotline, a free and confidential hotline available 24/7 that can be reached on 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224. The Hotline also provides information on local resources. For more information visit https://www.thehotline.org/.

Man demands woman heats his food
A man argues with a woman in front of an empty plate (left), and a file photo of a meal heating in a microwave (right). A man has been slammed after demanding his wife heat up his meals on demand when he returns home from work. fizkes/monkeybusinessimages/Getty Images