Man Telling Brother Truth About Why His Marriage Failed Backed: 'I Snapped'

A man has been backed online after admitting to telling his divorced older brother that "his marriage failing was his fault." The older brother, he claimed, married his ex-wife despite knowing that she didn't want kids but he did.

The couple had been married for over a decade but recently divorced over their differing views on children. According to the younger sibling's popular Reddit post, shared to Subreddit "Am I the A**hole," the wife was open about her decision to remain childless from the beginning. He however "thought she would change her mind."

"It wasn't a secret. She divorced him because he wouldn't stop pressuring her to have kids and get her tubes untied. He went so far as to try and change the divorce ground from no fault to fraud, claiming she entered the marriage under false pretenses. That didn't go anywhere. He maintains she lied and he is also mad he 'wasted' so much time with her," wrote the brother

Torn up photo
Stock image of a torn up photograph. Getty Images

A recent study showed that 21.64 percent of adults do not want to have children and are instead choosing to be childfree. The survey spoke to only 1,500 adults in Michigan, but the 2021 Census showed that Michigan is demographically similar to the entire United States.

After the divorce over children, finalized in the summer, the brother was down and back living with their parents, due to no longer qualifying for military housing and moving areas. In a bid to be supportive and keep him distracted, they went for a family meal, but it led to a disagreement.

"I do understand that he is going through some stuff but he spent the entire night complaining and no matter what anyone said or did he was negative. I tried to ignore it but when he made a comment about our waitress while we were walking back to the car, simply because she was wearing an engagement ring I snapped. The waitress didn't mention marriage at all and her service was fine. My brother said she probably lied to her boyfriend to get him to agree to marry her. I snapped and told my brother that his wife didn't lie and his marriage failing was his fault," wrote the younger brother.

He added that it was the first time he had spoken negatively about the divorce towards her brother and had tried to be supportive, but the waitress comment "pushed [him] over the edge." Despite not being keen to apologize, the younger brother asked Reddit for opinions on his dilemma.

Unanimously, Reddit users agreed with the poster, arguing that the older brother should not have even married his ex, knowing that she didn't want children. Instead, users felt the brother was on the right side to stand up against him.

"I'm also childfree and I feel terrible for your ex-sister-in-law. When I knew my now-husband was close to proposing, I asked him one last time if he was sure he didn't want kids. He then asked me if I was sure, it was a dealbreaker for both of us. Being on the same page with children is vital and your brother tricked your ex-sister-in-law," wrote one user.

Another agreed, noting: "I doubt it will change anything about his perspective, since he's determined to be miserable. There's not much you can do with someone who's feeling sorry for themselves. He went into the relationship expecting to change someone, and he can only be mad at himself when it didn't happen.

"When you enter a relationship wih a woman who has her tubes tied, I don't think it gets any clearer that she is not going to have children. There's optimism and then there's stupidity."

"Attempting to gaslight everyone regarding basic facts of his marriage and projecting his negative marriage views on others is super toxic and draining. Surprised you didn't blow up sooner," agreed another Reddit user.

Newsweek reached out to u/Possession_Ocean5980 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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