Man Slammed For Wanting Wife to Get Second Job and Stop 'Wasting' Her Days

In a now-viral post, a man said that he recently told his wife to get a second job and stop "wasting" her weekdays.

Posting in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum under the username u/TAwifework35, the man said his wife works Friday-Sunday and spends the rest of her week watching TV, exercising, reading, etc. The post has garnered over 5,800 upvotes and thousands of comments from Redditors accusing the man of being a "jealous a**hole." You can read the post here.

Is Jealousy Normal?

Speaking to Good Housekeeping, professor Jennifer Bevan, Ph.D., said "all jealousy is natural."

"A lot of times, in our culture, we see jealousy as such a negative thing that we actually don't want to put that label on it," Bevan said, adding that jealousy isn't a "bad thing" unless it's being communicated in a harmful way.

Couple arguing
In a now-viral post, a man said he recently told his wife to get a second job and stop "wasting" her weekdays. fizkes/istock

"Jealousy is one of the major reasons for intimate partner violence and one of the major sources of and reasons for stalking, and harassment of current partners and former partners," Bevan explained. "When it goes into that dark place where we're communicating it really negatively and destructively that's when jealousy becomes a problem."

Several psychologists also told Bustle that jealousy becomes "unhealthy" when a partner becomes "too emotionally dependent" or "controlling," among other things.

Based on the information he shared, many Redditors agreed that u/TAwifework35's jealousy has become "toxic."

'Get Another Job'

In his post, u/TAwifework35 explained that he works a full-time job, earning "just above minimum wage and tips." His wife, meanwhile, only works Friday-Sunday and on some public holidays, but earns more money than him.

"While I find myself struggling with money and having to borrow from [our] joint bank account, my wife never [has] this problem," he said.

With this in mind, his wife covers 60 percent of their bills and contributes to household chores. She doesn't cook; however, she orders pre-made meal kits and frequently orders takeout for both of them. Still, the man doesn't think his wife is doing enough.

"Most of the day while I'm working she is either in our house chilling (watching TV, playing video games, reading or exercising) or shopping or in the gym," he explained.

"I have asked her to find another job so she has something to do while I'm working instead of wasting her day. I said it is not fair on me, as I come home tired while she has done nothing all day," he continued.

In response, his wife called him an "a**hole" for suggesting she find a second job, adding that he should be the one looking for a new job if he's so "tired."

Redditors React

Redditors agreed with u/TAwifework35's wife and called him a "jealous a**hole."

"YTA [you're the a**hole]. Why would you want your wife to be stressed? You sound childish and jealous of her making more money and having a less stressful job," u/CarefulStructure8155 commented.

"This is some toxic stuff...why does your wife need to get a second job if the bills are already covered?" u/blueinkblots asked.

"[You're] a jealous a**hole. She is entitled to work that job and do what she wants in her spare time. If you don't like your lifestyle then change it," u/Livid-Ad-2706 said.

u/Vivid_Masterpiece327 added: "Instead of being resentful, YOU could get a better job that pays YOU more so YOU can have extra time off and can contribute 50 percent to the bills. Instead, you choose to police and control your wife. YTA."

Newsweek has reached out to u/TAwifework35 for comment.

Other Viral 'AITA' Posts

Redditors offered encouragement on Tuesday to a woman whose husband refuses to let her work. Also on Tuesday, Redditors criticized a mother for talking on the phone instead of making breakfast for her husband and children.

And earlier this month, commenters supported a woman who "traumatized" her husband after he messed with her alarm clock, causing her to miss an exam.