Debate Over Mom Denying Dad-to-Be's Demand to Give Baby 'Traditional' Name

A mom-to-be denying her partner's request to give their baby a "traditional" name has sparked a debate online, as she revealed she favors an "ethnic" choice.

The woman shared the baby name dilemma to Mumsnet, under username OneTonNoodles, as she revealed she already has a son, named Aryan, from a previous relationship.

The mom, based in England, revealed she was expecting again with her partner, who preferred a "common" European name for their child.

The mom explained as she's Indian, she wanted a moniker in-keeping with her heritage, and currently they were at a stalemate.

She wrote: "I'm expecting, and we're discussing baby names. DP likes traditional, common, English / European names. His family is full of Elizabeth, Peter, David's.

"I have a DS named Aryan from a previous relationship. I like unusual, uncommon, and would prefer an ethnic name that goes with DS.

"I know they're not the same person so they don't need to match but I'd find Persephone and Keith as a sibset jarring.

"I'm willing to compromise and choose an ethnic name that is also used in the West e.g. Nina, but DP is not having any of it."

She summed up her partner's arguments, saying: "His points are, 1. I got to name DS 2. We live in England. 3. He made 1 suggestion for an unusual name he was semi-ok with and I laughed at him.

"Therefore IABU. I don't think I am because I said we can compromise."

The post, shared on Saturday, has amassed nearly 300 replies, and can be read here, as she shared more details in follow-up comments.

"The problem is DP won't compromise at all. He wants a top 10 English name.

"We haven't discussed last names. I know it'll end in another argument. He'll want only his surname as per 'tradition', I'll want mine as we're not married. Don't think he'll double barrel," she added.

'I Thought He Was Joking'

She claimed the "unusual" name he suggested was Harlequin, as she continued: "Those saying Harlequin is out of character for someone who likes traditional names. I agree! Which is why I thought he was joking and I laughed.

"Some names he's mentioned: Emma, Harriet, Arthur, Eleanor. Unusual pick: Harlequin.

"My list: Zia, Cyra, Pari. Unusual pick: Zephyr. His mum suggested Francis/Frances."

She shared more options, saying: "My compromise names are Nina, Ana /Anna and Summer."

I like unusual, uncommon, and would prefer an ethnic name that goes with DS."
Mom

While in another post, discussing her son, she noted: "Now he's going to have a sibling, who looks different with an alien name."

As she admitted: "I'd just prefer either an Indian leaning or a name that works for both of us.

"Maybe it's awful of me but I don't see myself as a mother to a child with the names he's picked."

And she clarified: "I'm Indian, Ex is Indian, DS is Indian, and DP is white. All born and raised in England."

Numerous people sympathized with her position, as BakeOffRewatch said: "I absolutely don't think you're overthinking it, and identity crisis is common in kids and adults with parents from different cultures."

Hesma suggested: "How about another "A" name that would co-ordinate well such as Anna or Anya? Not sure how that fits culturally for you but they go well with Aryan in my opinion. Just a thought..."

Greatblueheron pointed out: "You're not married. Ultimately, the naming decisions are yours. My child would be having last name as a surname if I wasn't married 100%. I wouldn't agree to a top 10 name either. There must be other names you can both live with. That's what you need to look for."

Classicblunder asked: "Whose surname is the baby getting? If yours, I would be minded to give him more of a say on the first name and vice versa."

The chart below, provided by Statista, shows why some parents regretted the name they chose for a child.

Infographic: Why some parents regret their childrens' names | Statista You will find more infographics at Statista

Intrigueddotcom summarized: "The name issue is actually irrelevant. But what the baby "should have" is a name that BOTH parents are happy with. Whatever that is."

MountainClimber22 thought: "Yanbu. Pick an interesting name. Plain Jane names are so boring."

Georgeskitchen stated: "You can call your child any name you choose, whatever ethnicity. It's not against the law and no culture or individual "owns" a name."

While Kickingupdaisies added: "You picked one, now he picks one. Fair's fair! YABU."

As the mom said, her partner is favoring top 10 names, which for girls in the U.K. is Olivia, Amelia, Isla, Ava and Mia.

Making up the list is Ivy, Lily, Isabella, Rosie and Sophie, according to statistics from the Office of National Statistics (ONS) for 2020.

While for boys, the top choices are Oliver, George, Arthur, Noah and Muhammad. In sixth place is Leo, followed by Oscar, then Harry, Archie and Jack.

File photo of boys' baby names.
File photo of boys' baby names. A mom has sparked debate over her unwillingness to give her son an "English" name. PeerCreative/Getty Images