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By Daniella Gray
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A mom from the Midwest is going viral after pushing back against what she called a growing "anti‑big family" mindset.
In a post on Instagram, Abby (@abbyjeilers) explained how she’d noticed more conversations suggesting that having “too many” children inevitably means someone is overlooked, or that a mother can only truly care for one or two children well.
The 32-year-old, who is mom to a boy and three girls with her husband Ryan, 34, told Newsweek that she felt compelled to speak out after repeatedly seeing assumptions about large families made online by people who had never lived that reality themselves.
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“[There’s a] growing narrative that if you have more than one or two children, it must mean you are overwhelmed, unhappy or somehow doing a disservice to your kids,” she explained. “For our family, the experience has been the opposite of what people imagine. Our home is so busy, yes, but also incredibly full of life, laughter and connection.”
With each pregnancy, the mom of four admitted she worried about how her time and attention would stretch. “And somehow, it never stretched thinner… it knit tighter,” she wrote in her caption, adding that her experience challenged much of what she had been led to fear.
She also clarified that this doesn’t mean older siblings are expected to parent younger ones.
“[Ryan] and I are the parents—that responsibility stays with us,” Abby said. What she has seen instead is what she calls a natural sibling bond. “They want to help each other, look out for one another and help guide each other. It’s really incredible to witness the depths of their instinctual love.”
Several images within her post echoed that theme, noting that while she doesn’t have less time for her children, “they have more time together—building friendships that will outlast childhood,” and that being outnumbered didn’t mean losing control, but learning cooperation.
Addressing concerns that children in larger families are often overlooked, Abby said those assumptions misunderstand what children actually need.
“Children can feel deeply supported in large families, and they can also feel overlooked in very small families,” she explained. “Feeling seen and valued isn’t really about the number of children in a family—it’s about the intention of the parents.”
She added that in her home, each child is known individually, while also benefiting from the companionship and support of siblings.
Abby’s post has gone viral on Instagram, amassing over 34,000 likes. In the comments, moms of multiples resonated with her message.
“I have 6 littles and I could not love or agree with this more,” one user wrote.
“I’m a mom of 7 and I affirm this message,” another said.
While there were some users who disagreed—“This was not true for me,” one user commented—Abby said they often reinforced her point. “The real issue isn’t family size itself, but how children are prioritized and cared for within a home,” she said.
Her hope, she said, is simple: “Family life looks different for everyone, and that’s okay. The size of a family doesn’t determine the love, attention, or care within it. What matters most is the intention parents bring to raising their children and the kind of home they create together.”
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