'Petty and Childish': Man Dragged for Intervening in Wife's Job Interviews

Members of a popular internet forum offered stern advice to one woman who said her husband has ruined every job interview she's had over the last five months.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/the54756 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she has been diligently looking for a new job but detailed the questionable manner in which her partner has made finding one nearly impossible.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for locking the door to prevent my husband from getting involved in my job interview?" the post has received nearly 11,000 votes and 1,400 comments in the last seven hours.

Beginning with the explanation that her husband works a "high-paying" job and has repeatedly encouraged her to simply stay at home, the original poster said she refused his offer and embarked on a months-long job search.

However, after securing multiple interviews with multiple different employers, the original poster said she remains jobless and explained why.

"I've had several job interviews and my husband has ruined all of them for me and here's how: he'd walk into the room whenever I'm having a potential job interview and introduce himself and take over the conversation," OP wrote. "He'd tell them about how good I am but slip in some bad stuff that eventually cost me the job."

"His argument was that he's just making 'recommendations' [because of his] connections and 'influence' but I told him to stop and let me handle it," OP continued. "He sulked, saying he was just trying to 'guide me.'"

In preparation for her most recent job interview, the original poster said she locked the door to the room she was in, much to her husband's dismay.

"My husband tried to come in and started knocking on the door asking why I was locking the door and telling me to let him in," OP wrote. "I put my headphones on and used noise cancelling but he kept knocking telling me to open the door."

"After the interview was over I unlocked the door," OP continued. "He went off on me calling me disrespectful and awful to lock him out. I said I was worry I wanted to work for this company so badly and I couldn't let it ruin him for me."

"He got offended and said that I was being petty and childish and also ungrateful," OP added. "I said I'm not a child but he said that yes, I was, especially with how I behaved and for 'excluding' him from my interview."

While many married men and women attribute a portion of their career success to a supportive spouse, others point to their significant others as major factors in their career failure.

Career sabotage by a spouse, intentional or unintentional, is often the result of harmful jealousy and insecurity, according to relationship expert Susan Winter.

"Your spouse could be envious of your achievements and may be insecure, competitive or just less ambitious," Winter told CNBC in 2017.

However, despite the psychological reasoning behind intentionally meddling with a partner's career, repeated attempts at sabotage are often indicative of greater issues and major relationship red flags.

Last year, Marriage.com published a list of 15 signs of a controlling husband. Included on that list were manipulation, guilt tripping, isolation, dismissiveness, emotional blackmail and the insistence to have complete financial control over the relationship.

Financial abuse, defined by Very Well Mind as "controlling a victim's ability to acquire, use, and maintain financial resources," can have a devastating impact and often involves direct interference with a romantic partner's job, or job prospects.

By criticizing a partner's job choice, determining where a partner can (and cannot) work, sabotaging work responsibilities and preventing a partner from working at all, financial abusers attempt "to control your ability to earn money," in turn, "interfering with your income potential," according to Very Well Mind.

Husband and wife torn over job interview
Members of Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum were quick to call out one man who repeatedly ruined his wife's job interviews. Urilux/iStock / Getty Images Plus

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, numerous Redditors accused the original poster's husband of this exact behavior and encouraged OP to seriously consider leaving the relationship.

"[Not the a**hole], and you KNOW this isn't about him wanting to help, this is about him trying to control you," Redditor u/corrin_avatan wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 18,000 votes.

"Either your husband is so rich he is out of touch with how normal [interviews] work, or he is intentionally manipulating and sabotaging your interviews and you should be concerned," they continued. "This is such a massive red flag...I would be REALLY concerned about how many other ways he sabotages your life."

Redditor u/Joxem13, whose comment has received more than 3,300 votes, offered a similar response.

"Your husband doesn't want you to get a job," they wrote. "[I don't know] if it's about control or pettiness but Jesus Christ he is a grown man and not your dad."

In a separate comment, which has received nearly 3,000 votes, Redditor u/realghostofchaos put a label to OP's husband's damaging behavior and was blunt in telling the original poster to get away.

"What he's doing is emotional and mental abuse," they wrote. "You do not need that and do not need him. Run, do not walk away from that relationship."

"It's also financial abuse," Redditor u/eaca02124 added. "He's making it impossible for OP to get a job, which will result in him having more control over her and the household."

Newsweek reached out to u/the54756 for comment.