Parent Refusing to Let Kid on School Trip Causing It to Be Canceled Backed

A parent has been backed by the internet and school moms for causing a school trip to be canceled.

In a viral post, u/surroundsound1 explained their daughter Bryn, 9, has been excited for months about a school trip to a water park. However, her attitude has recently changed and she no longer wants to go as her teacher is forcing her to buddy up with someone she dislikes.

The parent said: "I was horrified, not only because Ms. N had made Bryn do such a thing, but also because she had made her believe she was a bad person for not wanting to.

"Unfortunately, this wasn't my first experience with Ms. N. She frequently used my soft-spoken, intelligent older daughter as a "behavior buffer" for the naughty boys until I threatened to report her to the superintendent. It's clear that Ms. N is still too comfortable with enforcing archaic gender roles on her kids and forcing girls to do unpaid emotional labor for the sake of the boys."

Parent comforting daughter
A stock image of a woman comforting her daughter. Newsweek reached out to a parenting expert to discuss the viral Reddit post. Valeriy_G/iStock/Getty Images Plus

The Redditor reached out to Ms. N who said Bryn must buddy up with Ben, who is apparently the class' least favorite pupil as he picks his nose and wipes the "boogers everywhere".

In the end, the parent decided to pay for a VIP ticket to the waterpark for Bryn and told Mrs. N she will not be going on the trip. Then eight other parents pulled their kids out of the trip after hearing about the incident.

On February 5, the parent turned to the internet for advice after receiving an email from Ms. N.

"[She said] that because almost half of the class isn't going, they either have to raise the cost for the other students or not go at all. She practically begged me to let Bryn go and tell all the other parents to let their kids go, promising she wouldn't make Bryn do anything she didn't want to do. I told her she should have thought about that before she tried to make my daughter do her job," the Redditor said.

If the Problem Arises Again Take It to the Principal

Newsweek reached out to Dennis Poncher, a parenting expert and founder of parent and youth support groups Because I Love You.

He said: "If I were concerned that my child is being singled out by her/his teacher, I would contact the teacher and set up a meeting with her/him to be sure that the information my child conveyed to me about their treatment is accurate.

"If I determined that my child is being truthful, I would tell the teacher that if this problem arises once again, I would take the matter to the school principal. If the situation is not as my child has reported to me, I would set up another meeting with both the teacher and my child to get to the facts and arrive at a resolution."

Commenting exclusively on the Reddit thread, Poncher advised the parent to ask the daughter if she has changed her mind about the trip before responding to Ms. N.

He said: "If I was the mother, I would also notify the teacher that I would not report the 'singling out' behavior to her supervisor. However, I would underscore that if there are any new issues where the teacher is involved, I would at that time contact the school.

"That said, I would be sure to first ask my daughter if she wants to change her mind and join her classmates since her teacher apologized and committed to not make her be a buddy during the trip to anyone. If my daughter changed her mind and wanted to be with her classmates on the trip, then I would contact the other parents and let them know the situation and note the teacher's apology.

"If my daughter decided that she does not want to join the class and chose the VIP trip with some of the other children under the parents' supervision rather than the school's supervision, I would let her know that choosing the VIP option means that she would probably not be able to join in with her classmates that are visiting the park with their teachers."

Over 3,000 Reddit users have commented on the viral post and the top comment has more than 30,000 upvotes.

It said: "Am I alone in suspecting that the teacher isn't so much feeling bad about what she did, but faintly terrified of either having to explain to her superiors why the trip is suddenly in jeopardy or the backlash from other parents when it comes out why the trip she organized has fallen apart?

"Not to mention that if you've booked VIP tickets, I'm going to guess that if you DID cancel your plans to suit her, you'd end up paying twice over—once for the school tickets, and again for the VIP tickets you've already bought?"

"NTA. I'd stick with a simple "Sorry, I've already committed to and paid for my own arrangements for that date now" (with a possible unless other parents ask and you actually can rearrange without significant personal loss)."

"None of the other kids had buddies which is even worse! She was trying to force this little girl to buddy system with a problematic boy.... When no one else had to have a buddy. That's soooo wrong," said another.

Newsweek reached out to u/surroundsound1 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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