Internet Slams Husband Buying Children Toys For his Wife's Birthday Present

We've all had terrible birthdays. But how does yours compare to a Reddit user whose recent post on Reddit's Am I The A**hole forum about the treatment she received from her husband and kids went viral?

The OP (original poster), an anonymous Reddit user going by u/throwaway8137495932, asked: "AITA [Am I The A**hole] for being upset about the birthday gifts I got from my kids and husband?"

OP begins by explaining she feels guilty about how upset she is, but she was "raised by a narcissist" which means she tends to feel guilty about all her feelings. As such, she took to Reddit for opinions.

"Today is my birthday. I don't typically expect a whole lot. We have a tradition where the birthday person gets to pick the days activities and dinner and 1 gift from each family member," OP wrote. "I love this."

OP had chosen to spend the weekend at the family's cottage, and have dinner at a local pub. It didn't, however, begin well: OP states that she alone had to pack everything for the trip and clean the house before they left.

"I woke up this morning and after a couple hours I had to remind my husband and kids (7 & 12) that it was my birthday. They responded not with a "Happy Birthday" but a 'Yeah we know.' .... While my husband laid there on his phone," OP wrote. "IMO he should have not only said Happy Birthday himself, but I feel it was his responsibility to correct the shitty attitude of the kids."

But OP went about her day, and started making breakfast before sitting down to open her gifts. Before continuing, she writes "[background: I was a little bit nervous because a couple weeks prior my husband has informed me that he maxed out his credit card. When I probed for more info, he explained that he got carried away with my birthday.]"

While one of the gifts was something that OP wanted, she "felt so insulted" by the other two.

"The other 2 gifts were toys... Toys that I had mentioned getting for my kids. I do not collect toys, these are 100% for my kids," she wrote. "My husband had asked me for a list months ago and I had given him about 20 ideas (nothing expensive, just things I wanted for me). I don't feel like I even particularly needed anything on the list, just something picked out with thought (for me though)."

OP notes that her husband also didn't remember to bring the homemade cards her kids had made—which is her "favorite" part.

"I went back to preparing breakfast for everyone and then my husband wanders into the kitchen expecting a thank you and a hug and I just couldn't do it. I'm so frustrated and angry. I feel invisible. After 17 years together he didn't know that I do not collect toys??" she wrote. "I'm now sitting in my room with the door closed trying to compose myself. Feeling guilty for crying over gifts."

While replies to the post varied, Reddit ultimately decided that OP is NTA (Not The A**hole).

In a typical response, u/luna_donna wrote "NTA it's not about the gifts, it's about the lack of thought. Sounds like it probably won't change after 17 y."

Similarly u/preciousmetalhead commented: "This got me. I feel very sad for OP that she apparently isn't appreciated enough."

Other users pointed out that OP shouldn't have to make her own breakfast on her birthday. For example, u/regalalbatross22 wrote, "I can't even imagine MAKING BREAKFAST FOR EVERYONE ON HER BIRTHDAY!? ... That's your day to get spoiled and pampered as much as possible. It seems like this poor lady works so hard and gets nothing but entitlement and disrespect in return. NTA!"

Likewise, u/CaRiSsA504 added, "Take the husband and kids home, spend the next week at the cottage doing whatever she wants. Sleep in? Hell yes. Read a book all day? For sure. Eat super healthy and feel like a boss on Monday? Yas, Queen. Eat birthday cake and ice cream on Tuesday? TREAT YO SELF. Take a hike, adopt a dog, go drinking at the pub every night? Come back home a new woman, hear OP roar! lol"

OP isn't alone in having a birthday ruined by the negligence of loved ones, according to a study conducted by OnePoll and commissioned by Evite. The survey asked 2,000 Americans about their birthday experiences and found that roughly 35 percent of respondents have had their partner forget their birthday. Additionally, the survey found that 1 in 5 respondents had gotten into a fight with their significant other over a birthday mishap, and 12 percent had broken things off entirely as a result.

While fellow Reddit users didn't suggest OP go that far, they were certainly on her side.

@randomcharacheters wrote, "the fact that she even appreciates her kids' homemade cards is so sweet. She deserves so much better. And also, I don't think husband maxed out his credit card for her birthday, he must have spent it on something else. Definitely NTA."

Unhappy Birthday
Stock photo, woman unhappy at a birthday Getty