Today in Tabs: Picture a Tab

rnc hipster
The RNC tries to reach hipster voters RNC/

Picture a smart person," said Y Combinator founder and frequent source of inspiring tech quotes Paul Graham. Ok, you think, I can do that. You picture, perhaps, famously affable physics genius Richard Feynman. Or maybe you picture African-American polymath W.E.B. DuBois. Dian Fossey? Stephen Hawking? Hillary Clinton? Alice Walker? I got this, you think. I can picture any number of smart people!

"You don't imagine somebody who is really good at talking to people, you picture someone really awkward," continues Graham. Oh... kay? Slowly it becomes clear that when Paul Graham pictures a smart person, all he sees is:

Which is why it was such a revelation when Graham met Sam Altman, the young man who is replacing him at the helm of Y Combinator, Graham's startup youth camp and misogynist message board:

Amazing, right!? I guess young white men come in all different kinds of shirts.

If you say “Paul Graham” three times in a bathroom mirror, he’ll suddenly appear and talk to a man near you

— sarah jeong (@sarahjeong) March 19, 2014

Hot Goss: Everybody had a piece about anonymous gossip apps yesterday for some reason. Jenna Wortham introduces Secret to the Olds for the NYT but also connects a number of disparate threads, like Marc Andreessen's subtweeting and Alexis Ohanian's investment, and she even talked to Moot, who has more experience with this sort of thing than anyone but continues to be generally ignored. Today's obligatory Kevin is Kevin Roose, who looks at Secret in the context of Julie Horvath leaving Github and eventually concludes that none of the issues with online anonymity can be solved with code, which is correct. While Secret is busy congratulating itself on how world-changing it is, Richard Dewlap-Nostrils points out that Secret's anonymity only protects the bully, not the target. He also agrees with Paul Carr, which is legitimately one of the seven signs of the apocalypse, so it was nice knowing you all.

While we're telling secrets, ex-VentureBeat writer Bekah Grant wrote her confessions of an ex-tech journalist, which apparently are mainly about dealing with PR people. Don't... don't do that at all? It goes on for a lot longer than one sentence though, so idk.

Why do we expect so much from Nate Silver? Maybe it has something to do with the months of hype he encouraged and fed? Just a theory. Seems like we have a scientific consensus on climate change but you might not hear about it in Silver's objective world of data journalism. Medium let someone spend a month figuring out how to underline links, but still didn't manage to clear descenders which seems like a basic condition for success to me. Heds Will Roll. Popup archive is not that new but it is cool. The missing Malaysia Airlines 777 was line number 404. Ha ha. :-(

Startup employees remember black people exist when it's time to compare themselves to Rosa Parks. Oh look, we're doing this thing where we game Tinder again, still. Sarah Slocum, the glasshole who got kicked out of a SF bar for recording people to prove that she was not recording them was previously the subject of a restraining order for peeping on her neighbors. Now you can make your own clothes if you're rich enough to buy a "personal cutting machine." Gross. Facebook Cancels Thing.

Unsubscribing from Today in Tabs and unfollowing Media Man has made life a little more worth living.

— Tyler Coates (@tylercoates) March 19, 2014

We're sending Millennials off on trains! Where are they going? Who cares! All aboard!

Jason Seigel as DFW... hoooo boy. Ok. Caity Weaver on Shailene Woodley, though? I could not be more in favor of both of those things. Stephen Marche is so numbed by porn that he can't find a movie sex scene anything but tedious now, which he thinks says something about movies but you and I both known what it really says, don't we? Who cares about Stephen Marche though, when we can read Alex Pareene on the RNC's stupefyingly bad youth outreach campaign. I don't think I've seen an actor less able to sell a line since Brad Pitt asked what was in the box.

Today's Song: RATKING feat. King Krule, "So Sick Stories"

Today's Bonus Super-Amazing Song: Kawehi covers Nirvana's "Heart-Shaped Box" (seriously, it's incredible)

~Leave the tabs. Take the cannoli.~

Today in Tabs is the thing you just read, in case you suffered head trauma or something, just now. You may be reading it on Newsweek or maybe in your email, I don't know your life.