Today in Tabs: Semi-Tabbed Life

"Is the lake pictured on every iPad secretly CURSED by the ghosts of disabled babies who were thrown into its waters because they wouldn't survive?" is the day's most-impressive headline. Vivek Prakash/Reuters

Tweetdeck is down, Cantor is out, and it's still only Wednesday. There is so much more of this week left you wouldn't even believe it if I told you. So I won't tell you.*

This do-nothing Congress's do-nothingest member, House majority leader Eric Cantor, lost his primary yesterday by 7,212 votes. Cantor was beaten by an unknown Randolph-Macon college economics professor named David Brat, his 23 year old campaign manager, and the pernicious stench of Ayn Rand. Notably, Brat only raised $206,663, and didn't even spend it all. The $122,000 he spent was less than Cantor's campaign steak budget. There's no question that Cantor is self-serving trash even by Tea Party aligned House Republican standards. But there's equally little doubt that Brat is even worse, an ideological libertarian except if you're talking about liberties like abortion or the separation of church and state. But anything that "will greatly exacerbate the ongoing civil war within the Republican Party" and make the whole GOP so afraid of immigration that they're going to rename tacos "Texas chili cradles" can't be anything but good news for the left.

Election news makes me wonder what famous election forecasting site FiveThirtyEight is up to these days.... Huh. Oh, wait here it is: Nate Silver explains that this House primary election was like an earthquake, and proves it by comparing a graph of earthquake magnitudes to a graph of Senate primary results since 2004. And they're sort of the same shape! That probably would mean something if we were talking about either earthquakes or Senate races. Hard to imagine the New York Times let this kind of perspicacity escape.

Update: Tweetdeck is back up. Stay safe out there kids.

Today in Before and After: before: after:

I guess now it's a little gay maybe?

Washington Post before:

Washington Post after:

Huge armies of married dads massing on the littoral plain

That Post tab is a great example of why data journalism won't save anything, if you needed one after the burrito bracket. Alexis Madrigal is probably at his most interesting and well-informed when he's writing on the media, and his piece on Wu-Tang News or, as he calls it, "Method Man Journalism" is no exception. And time enough for me to read it has literally not yet elapsed but Felix Salmon talked to Jonah Peretti until the heat-death of the universe, which is sure to be interesting. It turns out that post-text there's just a lot more text. Who'd have thought?

The Verge launches a new consumer reports vertical, and the concept rhymes with "firebutter". "Is-lake-pictured-iPad-secretly-CURSED-ghosts-disabled-babies-thrown-waters-wouldnt-survive" nominated for url slug of the year. Women ignore men. How we Instagram now. Former blogger makes terrible mistake. Transportation disrupted. Auerbach explains chatbot. Secret 3.11 for Workgroups, what could possibly go wrong?

Who is Your Cult? CASEY

Are Jokes Funny If All You Have is the Punchline? Two-Thirty

Today's Song: Jackson Scott's #bummerwave cover of Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life"

~When is a door not a door? When it's a tab.~

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