'I Am a Selfish Person'—Woman Praised for Admitting Why She Won't Have Kids

A woman who confessed she's too "selfish" to have children has received widespread praise for her honest reasons for not wanting to become a mom.

She shared her stance on parenthood to Reddit, under username MrsFef, where she revealed she's undergone a surgical procedure to prevent a pregnancy.

The 36-year-old explained that after seeing similar posts where others cited finances, climate change and the future problems humanity will face, she sought to clarify "my decision to be childless had nothing to do with those reasons."

The woman explained: "I am a selfish person. I enjoy my alone time and I enjoy not having people dependent on me. There is even a rule in my house that my husband cannot ask me any questions for the first hour that I am awake. I'm an introvert with a strong love of quiet."

As children need someone who is "willing to engage" 24/7, she reckons she simply wasn't cut out for the job. MrsFef even broke up with her first husband over the issue, she explained, as he changed his mind from no children to wanting three.

After attempting to compromise on one child, the Redditor, who didn't reveal her location but championed a Missouri-based organization, revealed she divorced him, adding he got remarried and now has five children.

Adamant not to become a mom, at 25 she claims to have found a gynecologist who performed a tubal ligation. According to the Mayo Clinic, the procedure, often referred to as having your tubes tied, is a form of permanent birth control.

They explained: "During tubal ligation, the fallopian tubes are cut, tied or blocked to permanently prevent pregnancy."

It's the most common form of sterilization for women, as the site warned: "Most tubal ligation procedures cannot be reversed."

For the Redditor, the procedure was a relief, and she says in the more than decade since having it done, she has "no regrets."

She sought to expand on her position, saying: "There's nothing wrong with not wanting children. I happily pay my taxes to improve schools in my area and do everything I can to support my friends and family in raising their children.

"But when I wake up on Saturday morning and make a bowl of cereal and turn on video games, that is me time.

"And no I don't hate kids. I just don't want to be responsible for them. Need extra money to raise a kid? I got you.

"Need someone to cook some meals or do laundry while you rest? No problem! Need a 24-hr caregiver? I'm not your gal."

Since sharing her post on Sunday more than 15,000 people upvoted it, as the woman penned an edit, which can be read here.

She added: "I don't consider myself selfish for being childless. I determined that I should be childless because I am selfish. I don't consider it to be a bad thing. I am aware of it and set peoples expectations of me appropriately."

Her words have resonated with people online, as NoMrBond3 wrote: "Exactly! I'm not having kids until I'm 100 percent and I don't see myself at 100 percent. I was raised by parents who wanted kids 1000 percent and it is grossly unfair to subject future kids to less."

Siliciclastic commented: "Absolutely. Have kids because you want them. Don't have kids because you don't want them. It's so simply and we shouldn't need to jump through hoops to defend ourselves."

Pithster raved: "I love this! This writer of the post did not strike me as selfish at all, just extremely self-aware and making the best decision for her family."

The_Ice_Queen920 commented: "Same here. I love my privacy and having time for myself. I don't fit into that caregiver/parent role and nothing, not even a child, will change that."

While Scalpingsnake added: "I always saw it as the opposite. Most of the time it is selfish reasons that people have kids."

Overall there's been a cultural shift which has seen women having children later in life, according to Statista.

They revealed: "Before the 1980s, women in their early twenties had the highest birth rates, however women in their late twenties had the highest rates between 1980 and 2015, but were recently overtaken by women in their early thirties.

"In more recent decades, rising birth rates among older age groups is not only due to societal trends, but has also been aided by improvements in assisted reproductive technology (ART), such as in vitro fertilization (IVF)."

Newsweek reached out to MrsFef for comment.

File photo of a woman.
File photo of a woman. A woman has shared her reasons for staying childless, which have been praised online. Marjan_Apostolovic/Getty Images